Babies - A Different Breed

   So I am always telling Jesse stories to my Parelli playgroup.  They must secretly laugh at my utter astonishment upon discovering that young horses are soooo different from mature horses.  Having never owned a horse younger than 4 years of age, acquiring my yearling filly last spring opened my eyes to an entirely new world.  Life with Jesse around is never, ever dull and what I have learned from her in just the 8 short months she has been in my life - could already fill a novel!
   I shall start with her latest escapade.  One morning just a few weeks ago, my kids were bustling around getting their outside clothes on, grabbing lunch pails and heaving backpacks onto shoulders.  All of a sudden - they were screaming!!!  "There is a horse on the deck!!!"  Sure enough, there is Ms. Jesse-Lou, looking in the mudroom door with an expression like, "what's for breakfast??"  Of course the kids thought this was the funniest thing ever and, lucky for me, all their friends got a chance to see when the bus came along a few moments later (what the neighbours must think .... but I digress).    Now, it should be said that in my pre-Parelli days, I would have definitely freaked out - thereby making the job of removing a horse from the deck much more difficult.   But savvy changes things ... so I strolled out the door with a happy-to-see-her expression, greeted her with a friendly stroking session.  Then I casually sauntered off the deck towards the barn with a friendly, "well let's find you some breakfast" and walked away.  I didn't look back and sure enough moments later Jesse was trundling along beside me heading for her stall.  Oh - I should mention - Jesse has figured out how to open gates ... hence the deck experience.   She also thinks its great sport to flip the float heater out of the trough ... hence the cronically frozen water.
   What I love most about having her in my life - you ask??  Her play drive.  It is extreme.  This filly will play any time, day or night.  She is a LBE - calm, confident and curious.   Whenever she sees me, she canters to where I am - leaving food and/or friends, just to let me know that if I ever want to play, she is ready.  One night in August of this year, I took the chihuahua out for his last piddle before bed.  There was Ms. Jess in the grass paddock alongside the house, whinnying to get my attention - at 11:30pm.  Such a warm, moonlit night - I thought "why not - there are no rules about playing only during daylight hours".  So we played.  I got the ball out and we played soccer with her at Liberty and had a rousing game of Stick to Me.  Afterwards, I was speechless at the beauty and enthusiasm of that play and was humbled by the realization of what I had just done - played with a yearling in the moonlight!!  A dream come true - a dream I hadn't even dreamt of!
   The drawback of having such a wonderful horse in my life?? She is a source of guilt.  On days when I can't fit in a play session - I feel guilty.  I feel like I have let her down - I see images of her face waiting for me at the gate.  When these feelings set in, I try to put it in perspective.  She could have been purchased by someone who would have just turned her out and not touched her until after her third birthday.  She could have fallen into hands that believe that "breaking" a horse also includes breaking her spirit as well as her body.  She could have found a home that treated her play drive as naughty, something to be disciplined out of her.   So although I can't endulge her by devoting 23.5 hours per day to playing with her - she has a bright future ahead of her and lives a happy life.   And me?  She makes me a better person.  Without a doubt.

So stay tuned for more Jesse-capades!  I am sure she has lots to teach me and me to teach her! 

Wanna play?

Wanna play?

 
  

Seeing Perfection Years Later

Last week I had a light bulb moment when reading Linda Parelli's blog post entitled Things Change written November 11, 2010.  Linda's writings, "I believe that life is perfect, and is unfolding exactly as it should.  I have learned through experience that you don't see the perfection of what occurs until many years later..."  gave me the opportunity to see something I have instinctively always known, put into words.  I have always believed that things happen for a reason - good, bad or otherwise.  But sometimes reflecting on the path that leads us to today, makes the journey more clear!

Way, way back in 1992, at the tender age of 20, I was horseless.  Being horseless for an obsessed horse-lover-since-birth is a very difficult situation to find oneself in.  But University education left little time, or money, for my passion and I had to make do without.  Arriving home during my second year for Christmas break, Dec 23rd found me hearing about a horse that I must "go see" from a neighbouring horseman.  Giving this suggestion no thought at all - I carried on with my day.  That night - I found myself bolt upright in bed awoken from a deep sleep with one thought - I had to go see this horse!!  I anxiously waited 4 days for my appointment to see a horse I knew very little about; a 4 year old bay thoroughbred gelding off the track,  abandoned by his owners at a holding facility, for sale for the price of his outstanding board.  With a whole lot of luck and fate intervening - I brought Charlie home Dec 27th.  From our very first ride - he taught me about trust and together we looked after each other.   He was my perfect partner in every sense and we had a wonderful 11 years together. 

Charlie  1989-2004

On March 5th, 2004, my horse world blew apart.  At that time, Charlie was stabled at my parent's barn as I had three very small children and precious little time for daily horse care.  After having a horribly, restless sleep that Saturday night, I found myself the next morning watching the clock until it was an appropriate hour to call my parents house (completely out of character for me I can assure you).   I knew instantly upon hearing my Mom's wavering voice say "Hello?" that tragedy had struck.  We had had a quick thaw that week and Charlie had been running around the paddock with typical spring sillies.  That fateful day, his hind leg had sunk deep in the mud and as he spun to gallop back up the field, he broke his leg above the hock.   Thankfully, my dad discovered him soon after and quickly made the decision to put him out of his pain.  At just 16 years of age, my best friend was gone.   For the next 365 days, I didn't have horses in my life - at all.  I couldn't continue without my partner and couldn't bring myself to consider the possibility that I would ever find another perfect partner for me. 

But my old friend the "horse bug",  bit again about a year after Charlie's death and after much research, I purchased the appaloosa gelding who became the stepping stone for me discovering Parelli.   One of my goals when shopping for another horse - was to purchase one that was not a bay thoroughbred gelding.   My tender heart couldn't handle the reminder of what I had lost.  The next four years were very difficult and subconsciously, I expected this young appy to fill some pretty big shoes.  In hindsight, an unfair expectation for him.  For the first time in my horsey life, I learned some harsh lessons about fear and for the second time in my life, my lifelong passion for horses was almost lost to me.  But Parelli came along at exactly the right moment!   Parelli (and watching Linda's lesson with Walter Zettle in Harristburg, PA in 2009) helped me decide that without trust - we weren't ever going to be perfect partners.  I took a risk,  found a wonderful new home for my appy and began the search for my perfect partner.  Could I find two perfect partners in the same lifetime?

The picture that brought Tido into my life!  May 2009

This is where my story becomes a happily-ever-after.  Tido's beautiful bald white face appeared on my computer screen one day just hours after selling my appy,  in a Horse For Sale ad resulting from me accidently striking an incorrect key on my keyboard.   Deja vu kicked in and I found myself on a familiar path - I had to see this horse!!  I waited 4 anxious days for my appointment time to arrive - praying that he wouldn't be sold in the meantime (hhmm sounding familiar?).  May 27, 2009 I sat on a strange horse, in a strange saddle, in a strange barn, with his owner watching, and instantly felt an old friend surface - trust.  Mutual trust.  I was home.  My broken heart  began to heal that day as Tido travelled home with me.   He has been my perfect partner since that day forward.   And the irony of it all - Tido's birthday is ... March 2004.  

So I, too, believe that life is perfect, unfolding exactly as it should.  And I didn't, or couldn't see it, until many years later.  It takes a lot of confidence to get you through those tragic times, but they are as much a part of the journey as the good times.   Without the heartbreak and pain, I wouldn't be where I am today - finding true joy in my horse obsession, having more fun than I ever thought possible and achieving things I never dared to even dream about.  Looking back, it is now easy to see how perfect the path was that led me to today.

Definition of a Super Horse

I have heard the term "Super Horse" since I began with Parelli.  I have heard Pat & Linda and several instructors refer to their horses with the word "super" in the sentence.  In the last several months I have started to wonder about how to define a Super Horse.  Is it a horse that plays at a particular level in one, or all, of the 4 savvies?  Is a Super Horse defined by their tenacity towards a certain specialized discipline?  Does the unwavering partnership between horse and human give a horse Super-status?  Seeking to define Super Horse leads me to the next logical question; is my horse a super horse??

Sunday I had a long-overdue and wonderfully rewarding play with Tido that made me think he is closer than ever to recieving the Super Horse title.  Playing online with our downward transitions, Tido is well aware of his responsibilities of a) maintain gait b) maintain direction and c) look where you are going.   He is also aware that he has permission to be as curious as he wants (which is 101% of the time!).   So as he was cruising around on the circle, changing gaits up and down at every halfway point - I could see a small smidge of his attention was focused on his favourite toy of all - a shiny orange cone!  I can assure you - I was giving it all I had to be provocative and keep him engaged.  But I could visibly see his brain-wheels were turning - how could he get that orange cone without breaking his responsibility??  I asked for a downward transition to walk about two strides from where the cone lay about 8 feet outside our circle.   With confidence and purpose he walked forward one stride and in a smooth fluid motion sidepassed 8 feet to the cone, picked it up and carried on in his same forward engaged walk.  I instantly started to laugh - he didn't lapse on any of his responsibilities yet applied a high degree of imagination and focus to obtaining his toy!   Anyone watching from the outside would have thought I had asked for that manouver.    I awarded him several bonus points in his quest for super-horse status!

My little Jesse also had a good day in her goal to move from Next-Super-Horse into full fledged Super Horse!  Again Sunday afternoon, DH (dear hubby) and I pulled out of our lane onto the highway for a venture into town.  Immediately, I realized our young German Shepherd was barrelling across the lawn thinking he should follow us on foot.   DH pulled over and I stepped from the truck to scold the dog and point him in the direction of the house.  Our truck happened to be pulled over on the highway alongside our front horse paddock.  Finished scolding the devil dog, I hear a high pitched whinny of welcome from my filly and look up to see her barrelling up the field from the barn.  She hit the breaks as close as she could be to where I stood and looked at me expectantly like "Wanna play?"!!   Standing on the gravel shoulder, in the dark and dreary rain of November, I rewarded her with a few soft and gentle words and climbed into the truck to continue on our errands.  While my heart was singing with her display of devotion to me (remembering that she is just 18 months old!), it broke a little bit when I left her standing at the fence and drove away.   Just a reminder that time of day and weather don't affect a young horse's play drive - a good lesson to remember!  So Jesse went up a few rungs on the Super Horse ladder too! 

I would love to hear from anyone who has thoughts on defining a Super Horse.  In the meantime, we continue positively, progressively and naturally knowing one day, I too will have a Super Horse. 

When "Life" Gets in the Way

I sit chained to my desk today, pondering the benefits of adopting a simpler life.  Simpler by my definition is far less hectic!  My wistful mood was brought about by a clearly defined plan for today that should have found me at the barn enjoying lunch and a play with my Parelli group.  The day had other plans for me however and here I sit at 2pm with no visible clear spot on my desk.  Alas, no playtime for me today.  

Taking a break from the mundane paperwork,  I took a few minutes to download some pictures from my camera.  Low and behold, with tears springing to eyes - I came across several photos entitled "simpler life".   Some background: my super-horse Tido (coming in future blog: what is the definition of a super-horse?), is boarded at a local barn approx 12 minutes from my house.  He is there because the facilities are wonderful and contribute to our progression.   At home I have our 11hh wonder and my 18 month old filly.  My facilities at home are minimal at best during the winter.  My 100 year old barn (aka shed) is just enough shelter from howling winds, rain, sleet, snow .... but only enough for 2, barely.   So Tido remains living apart from me, temporarily - until money permits the upgrade of my home based facilities.  However, that logic does little to keep me from desparately missing him on a daily basis. 

This takes us to Thanksgiving weekend (Canadian for our international friends), mid October 2010.  The weather: gorgeous!! Sunny, warm, perfect.  This fact does little to keep me from desparately missing Tido (see the trend?).  Suddenly, the light bulb goes on!!  The weather is beautiful.  I have room to keep one more for a few days time.   We are all brushed up on our trailer loading. Why not bring him home  for the weekend?  And that is just what we did ....

Here is my sweet boy - just arrived "home" for a 3 day vacation from his pals at the barn. 

Tido meeting Baby Jesse.  She has no fear of strangers.

When will she outgrow the "don't eat me, I'm a baby!" routine?

This photo brings tears to my eyes.  It is a picture of peace and happiness. 

I can't even tell you how much I love this horse and what a joy it was to feed him and pick up his poop and look out the window and see him and find him waiting at the fence for me and go for a ride and wake up knowing he was here .....

Isn't it amazing what confidence can do?  Gives you lots more opportunities to explore "why not?" and "can you?'  Just looking at these photos I don't feel quite so blue about missing my play today.   Maybe, just maybe I can carve out a few minutes to play with my baby-girl horse this afternoon ..... and my boy will be just as happy to see me when I get to the barn tomorrow!

What is the Point of Doing This?

Having just read the blog entry of Marta Sobczak on Parelli Central entitled, "When you Think of Parelli, What Do you Think of?", I thought I would take a few moments to answer this question for myself.

I could say all the usual words that pop to mind when I think of Parelli: partnership, freedom, fun, friends, learning ..... but really, its way more than that.  Its climbing on my horse bareback and feeling that sense of WOW that this gorgeous animal lets me go along with him.   Its being kid-on-christmas-excited to go to the barn instead of  nausea-inducing-dread going to the barn.  Its about the simplicity of popping a in a DVD to learn more instead of waiting for a weekly "riding lesson".  It is the re-found joy of doing nothing more than breathing in their horsey smell and being destressed by their steady munching sounds as they eat their evening feed.   It is the freedom to hug him when I want to and know he will never be ruined by too much love.   It is laughing and chatting with my Parelli friends on a gorgeous Tuesday afternoon as we try to remember something Ron taught in a clinic back in the spring of '09.    Its having a better relationship with your husband, your kids and your dogs ... and yourself ....because of what you learned from Parelli. 

When I think of Parelli, I think of an open door.   It is a rebirth back to where I started with horses as a kid.  Back when your first question was "what is he thinking?" and your second was, "how can I tell him what I want so he'll understand?"

So that's it - a little sappy but out there for the world to see.   I have to say that I love the question, "what is the point of doing this?"  The answer is so very, very simple it took me 20 years to figure it out.  Simply ... because I can!

Coming soon: my comments from our Level 3 clinic with Ron Pyne on Oct 16 & 17.  I'll leave you with a picture of my cute little chihuahua hating his pumpkin costume .... sometimes it is necessary to seek revenge on little dogs who shred toilet paper rolls all over the house!

How to Train Your Dragon ...er .. Horse!

So yes, Ron Pyne has been and gone.  We went in, survived, and came out the other side - more knowledgeable and certainly more exhausted than we began!!  Success all around but, as my brain is still overwelmed with the sheer volume of "stuff" learned, I will wait to blog about our adventures in Ronland when my cranium is quieter and I catch up on the many nights of lost sleep (due to anxiety - not because we were partying in the barn!)!

This week brought the release of one of my favourite kid movies to video.   Generally, I find movies geared for the younger set mildly entertaining and occasionally hit on one that is downright amazing.  How to Train Your Dragon was one such movie for me.  Of course the animation was great, well written, great characters .... but the concept of the movie is what entriges me.  The story of a young, geekish, viking boy who just doesn't have the heart to fight the local dragons, as his classmates do, goes against his father's and his communities wishes and ... wait for it .... trains one to be his friend (in secret of course!).  Using love, language and leadership (and a whole lot of friendly game) the young boy flies off into the sunset on his new friend!   But the real story unfolds as the boy needs to demonstrate to his fellow vikings that changing behaviour practiced by hundred of generations and befriending the dragons has far more benefits than battling against them.   Hmmm - sound familiar??  Eerily so.  

I am struck how often I discover (and use!) Parelli in the non-horsey parts of my life.  4 Phases work amazingly when raising kids for instance!  And my 10 year struggle to lose my baby weight suddenly became clear with the statement: "if you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always gotten."  Hmm -  after 10 years its safe to say that what I am currently doing isn't working - time to try something different!!  And yes - good, bad or otherwise - you can turn a RBI chihuahua into a LBE and the best little guard dog on the block!!

My First Question is Always ... Why?

     Occasionally the word "skeptic" has been used in conjunction with my name when discussing Parelli.  A fellow Parelli-er jokes that I run a close second to her for the record number of times a clinic participant can ask "why?" on a single weekend.  I find the word "skeptic" to be too negative in nature to describe me, but I am proud to be a highly-ranked why-asker!!  
     Like so many, I started my Parelli journey in a desperate attempt to cure my fear.  Attendance at that Level 1 clinic in May 2008 was a last ditch attempt to acheive some kind of understanding with my horse.  I was worn down with the burden of living in constant fear of something I loved so much and the urge to walk away from horses entirely was nipping at the corners of my mind.   Up to that moment, I had spent almost 17 years listening to anyone who could give me advice in hopes of acheiving my goals (goals which in hindsight were completely scattered and undefined).  My fairy-tale beginning started at the Level 1 clinic, and I walked out fighting tears of relief and taking joy in the deep down confidence that finally, I was on the right path.
     The #1 lesson learned that weekend and the lesson that has guided me every day since: that my gut instinct is my biggest teacher.  If I just stop and listen to myself,  deep down I know for certain when it is right, or not.  My fear developed when I stopped trusting myself and blindly followed advice or teaching of others.   So at the conclusion of that clinic, I vowed to always ask "why?" on behalf of my horse and myself to safe guard our partnership.  I ask "why" to learn the logic behind what is being taught.  I ask "why" to see a vision of how the task will look in the future.  I ask "why" to clarify teachings that seem to conflict with each other.  I ask "why" to advance my learning.  And then, after learning as much as possible with an open mind, I reserve the right to make an informed decision, on behalf of our herd of two, and decline a task if I feel it isn't right for one, or both of us.   It was blindly following what others told me that almost took my true passion from me and asking "why" keeps me honest with myself.   And Parelli is no exception!  There may come a day when I decline a task - temporarily or permanently.  But that is how I define Savvy - the courage to learn with an open mind, open eyes and open heart and to progress confidently forward, all while carefully listening to yourself and your horse.  

So yup - I ask a lot of questions - appropriately timed and respectfully asked of course!   I am not afraid to ask - I owe it to myself and my horse ('cause he can't talk yet!).  And yes, my Parelli Instructor might have nightmares of someone constantly repeating  why? why? why? ... but he has broad shoulders and I am sure he can handle it!

Clinic countdown = 8 days ........

The Important Role of the Playgroup

Tuesday was one of our bi-weekly Parelli Playgroup sessions.   Time to get together, play with horses (or without), visit, chat and eat.   Time to catch up on horsey (or non-horsey) news and to applaud the little victories.  But most important, time to support each other through the challenges of our individual learning pathways and help each other to stay progressive.   I am constantly amazed at the vast differences between the ages and stages of each member of our group but how close and supportive our little Parelli "family" has become.  The accomplishments from this group are too many to mention - but we are amazing!! Thank you group - it wouldn't be nearly as much fun without you!!

Tido had a great play on Tuesday.  Ever so slowly he is gaining confidence playing with me on his right side and I can see and feel a much more balanced horse!  It is such a joy to watch him concentrating on something new and not trying to "hide" by putting his left eye on me.  Such a subtle habit on his part and took over a year to identify it as a "problem" (thank's Ron for helping figure out the puzzle!).  In hindsight the signs were clear but .... what can I say, Tido's mischevious nature also lends to a great ability to cover up his weak areas!!  The sweet finale to the day was Tido hanging his head over the gate of the pasture and watching me leave.  I am deeply honored when he would rather spend time with me than grazing or being in the herd.  It is indeed a privlege to be his partner and moments like that just confirm that we are on the right path! 

So my nerves are starting to tingle a bit as I look at the calendar and realize that we are just 14 days until the continuing Level 3 clinic with Ron (Pyne).  Always a pleasure to spend two days with Ron but stressful just the same.  Have I spent enough time practicing perfectly what was covered in the spring clinic??  What challenges will he give us this round??  And all while learning in front of a small audience - yeesh - I still maintain that all Ron's clinics should come with a sedative for the night before!!   Ron - we are ready for the big green ball soccer challenge - you won't beat us this time!!  14 days to go ....

Joy, Tempered with Regrets .. the Mental Journey Continues.

The past few months have been a period of mental growth for me.  My confidence has risen to such snowy peaks, I often surprise myself.  I guard it like a newborn baby, being every vigilant about our safety to protect it and keep it from suffering a setback.  The freedom that confidence gives me is intoxicating.  Freedom to ride bareback more often than saddled, the freedom to seek the most imaginative ways to do seemingly mundane tasks.  The freedom to lay on the grass in the pasture at 38 years of age and look at the sky - just because I can.   I often joke that I am right back where I was at 12 years of age.  Back to when horses were fun and nothing was impossible.  Back to when just "hanging out" with my horse was one of life's true joys.   But my 38 year old brain starts to regret - all those years from age 14 forward when I paid money for someone to take that joy away.  I paid someone to tell me that I spoiled my horse by hugging him too much and I would never reach my goals unless I changed what I was doing.  I paid someone to tell me that if you weren't riding, you weren't doing any at all.   Today's joys are tainted by almost a quarter century of paying money for training that was actually taking me further away from where I was meant to be all along.   How do I let go of those regrets and lost years that almost took my moment-of-birth, passionate love of horses from me forever?  I am diligent now in trying to slow it down and enjoy the moments to not rush in an unconscious effort to make up for lost time.   I take comfort in knowing that my Parelli journey started when it was right for me, not a day too soon or a day too late. 

Back to Blogging ...

I can't believe how long it has been since I last posted on my blog!! I have truly missed being able to journal my experiences and am happy to be back to the keyboard! So much has happened in the last year, I don't even know where to begin. I think I will need to blog several posts to catch up!


This first post is about a trip Tido and I made, in June, to the outdoor playground of one of our Parelli Playgroup members. It was our first trip out together, in the 13 months we've been together, and it was so refreshing to get "off the farm" - so to speak.  We had a great time, challenging ourselves with all the obstacles at Teresa's playground and Tido having his very first swim! The best way to show you is in pictures!  We can't wait to visit again and, if the weather cooperates, both of us can swim together!

Our first look into the deep, scary ditch!  Tido is very uncertain ...

Taking the time it takes - one tiny step at a time.

"It's okay buddy - take your time."

SUCCESS!!!  60 minutes from start to finish! 

He went right through every time after!

Following the leader.

Picture entitled "The Medal Winners!"

Tido's first pond play - having fun with his feet.

"Oooh this water tastes good!"

"Look mom - I am a fish!!"