Seeing Perfection Years Later

Last week I had a light bulb moment when reading Linda Parelli's blog post entitled Things Change written November 11, 2010.  Linda's writings, "I believe that life is perfect, and is unfolding exactly as it should.  I have learned through experience that you don't see the perfection of what occurs until many years later..."  gave me the opportunity to see something I have instinctively always known, put into words.  I have always believed that things happen for a reason - good, bad or otherwise.  But sometimes reflecting on the path that leads us to today, makes the journey more clear!

Way, way back in 1992, at the tender age of 20, I was horseless.  Being horseless for an obsessed horse-lover-since-birth is a very difficult situation to find oneself in.  But University education left little time, or money, for my passion and I had to make do without.  Arriving home during my second year for Christmas break, Dec 23rd found me hearing about a horse that I must "go see" from a neighbouring horseman.  Giving this suggestion no thought at all - I carried on with my day.  That night - I found myself bolt upright in bed awoken from a deep sleep with one thought - I had to go see this horse!!  I anxiously waited 4 days for my appointment to see a horse I knew very little about; a 4 year old bay thoroughbred gelding off the track,  abandoned by his owners at a holding facility, for sale for the price of his outstanding board.  With a whole lot of luck and fate intervening - I brought Charlie home Dec 27th.  From our very first ride - he taught me about trust and together we looked after each other.   He was my perfect partner in every sense and we had a wonderful 11 years together. 

Charlie  1989-2004

On March 5th, 2004, my horse world blew apart.  At that time, Charlie was stabled at my parent's barn as I had three very small children and precious little time for daily horse care.  After having a horribly, restless sleep that Saturday night, I found myself the next morning watching the clock until it was an appropriate hour to call my parents house (completely out of character for me I can assure you).   I knew instantly upon hearing my Mom's wavering voice say "Hello?" that tragedy had struck.  We had had a quick thaw that week and Charlie had been running around the paddock with typical spring sillies.  That fateful day, his hind leg had sunk deep in the mud and as he spun to gallop back up the field, he broke his leg above the hock.   Thankfully, my dad discovered him soon after and quickly made the decision to put him out of his pain.  At just 16 years of age, my best friend was gone.   For the next 365 days, I didn't have horses in my life - at all.  I couldn't continue without my partner and couldn't bring myself to consider the possibility that I would ever find another perfect partner for me. 

But my old friend the "horse bug",  bit again about a year after Charlie's death and after much research, I purchased the appaloosa gelding who became the stepping stone for me discovering Parelli.   One of my goals when shopping for another horse - was to purchase one that was not a bay thoroughbred gelding.   My tender heart couldn't handle the reminder of what I had lost.  The next four years were very difficult and subconsciously, I expected this young appy to fill some pretty big shoes.  In hindsight, an unfair expectation for him.  For the first time in my horsey life, I learned some harsh lessons about fear and for the second time in my life, my lifelong passion for horses was almost lost to me.  But Parelli came along at exactly the right moment!   Parelli (and watching Linda's lesson with Walter Zettle in Harristburg, PA in 2009) helped me decide that without trust - we weren't ever going to be perfect partners.  I took a risk,  found a wonderful new home for my appy and began the search for my perfect partner.  Could I find two perfect partners in the same lifetime?

The picture that brought Tido into my life!  May 2009

This is where my story becomes a happily-ever-after.  Tido's beautiful bald white face appeared on my computer screen one day just hours after selling my appy,  in a Horse For Sale ad resulting from me accidently striking an incorrect key on my keyboard.   Deja vu kicked in and I found myself on a familiar path - I had to see this horse!!  I waited 4 anxious days for my appointment time to arrive - praying that he wouldn't be sold in the meantime (hhmm sounding familiar?).  May 27, 2009 I sat on a strange horse, in a strange saddle, in a strange barn, with his owner watching, and instantly felt an old friend surface - trust.  Mutual trust.  I was home.  My broken heart  began to heal that day as Tido travelled home with me.   He has been my perfect partner since that day forward.   And the irony of it all - Tido's birthday is ... March 2004.  

So I, too, believe that life is perfect, unfolding exactly as it should.  And I didn't, or couldn't see it, until many years later.  It takes a lot of confidence to get you through those tragic times, but they are as much a part of the journey as the good times.   Without the heartbreak and pain, I wouldn't be where I am today - finding true joy in my horse obsession, having more fun than I ever thought possible and achieving things I never dared to even dream about.  Looking back, it is now easy to see how perfect the path was that led me to today.

Definition of a Super Horse

I have heard the term "Super Horse" since I began with Parelli.  I have heard Pat & Linda and several instructors refer to their horses with the word "super" in the sentence.  In the last several months I have started to wonder about how to define a Super Horse.  Is it a horse that plays at a particular level in one, or all, of the 4 savvies?  Is a Super Horse defined by their tenacity towards a certain specialized discipline?  Does the unwavering partnership between horse and human give a horse Super-status?  Seeking to define Super Horse leads me to the next logical question; is my horse a super horse??

Sunday I had a long-overdue and wonderfully rewarding play with Tido that made me think he is closer than ever to recieving the Super Horse title.  Playing online with our downward transitions, Tido is well aware of his responsibilities of a) maintain gait b) maintain direction and c) look where you are going.   He is also aware that he has permission to be as curious as he wants (which is 101% of the time!).   So as he was cruising around on the circle, changing gaits up and down at every halfway point - I could see a small smidge of his attention was focused on his favourite toy of all - a shiny orange cone!  I can assure you - I was giving it all I had to be provocative and keep him engaged.  But I could visibly see his brain-wheels were turning - how could he get that orange cone without breaking his responsibility??  I asked for a downward transition to walk about two strides from where the cone lay about 8 feet outside our circle.   With confidence and purpose he walked forward one stride and in a smooth fluid motion sidepassed 8 feet to the cone, picked it up and carried on in his same forward engaged walk.  I instantly started to laugh - he didn't lapse on any of his responsibilities yet applied a high degree of imagination and focus to obtaining his toy!   Anyone watching from the outside would have thought I had asked for that manouver.    I awarded him several bonus points in his quest for super-horse status!

My little Jesse also had a good day in her goal to move from Next-Super-Horse into full fledged Super Horse!  Again Sunday afternoon, DH (dear hubby) and I pulled out of our lane onto the highway for a venture into town.  Immediately, I realized our young German Shepherd was barrelling across the lawn thinking he should follow us on foot.   DH pulled over and I stepped from the truck to scold the dog and point him in the direction of the house.  Our truck happened to be pulled over on the highway alongside our front horse paddock.  Finished scolding the devil dog, I hear a high pitched whinny of welcome from my filly and look up to see her barrelling up the field from the barn.  She hit the breaks as close as she could be to where I stood and looked at me expectantly like "Wanna play?"!!   Standing on the gravel shoulder, in the dark and dreary rain of November, I rewarded her with a few soft and gentle words and climbed into the truck to continue on our errands.  While my heart was singing with her display of devotion to me (remembering that she is just 18 months old!), it broke a little bit when I left her standing at the fence and drove away.   Just a reminder that time of day and weather don't affect a young horse's play drive - a good lesson to remember!  So Jesse went up a few rungs on the Super Horse ladder too! 

I would love to hear from anyone who has thoughts on defining a Super Horse.  In the meantime, we continue positively, progressively and naturally knowing one day, I too will have a Super Horse. 

When "Life" Gets in the Way

I sit chained to my desk today, pondering the benefits of adopting a simpler life.  Simpler by my definition is far less hectic!  My wistful mood was brought about by a clearly defined plan for today that should have found me at the barn enjoying lunch and a play with my Parelli group.  The day had other plans for me however and here I sit at 2pm with no visible clear spot on my desk.  Alas, no playtime for me today.  

Taking a break from the mundane paperwork,  I took a few minutes to download some pictures from my camera.  Low and behold, with tears springing to eyes - I came across several photos entitled "simpler life".   Some background: my super-horse Tido (coming in future blog: what is the definition of a super-horse?), is boarded at a local barn approx 12 minutes from my house.  He is there because the facilities are wonderful and contribute to our progression.   At home I have our 11hh wonder and my 18 month old filly.  My facilities at home are minimal at best during the winter.  My 100 year old barn (aka shed) is just enough shelter from howling winds, rain, sleet, snow .... but only enough for 2, barely.   So Tido remains living apart from me, temporarily - until money permits the upgrade of my home based facilities.  However, that logic does little to keep me from desparately missing him on a daily basis. 

This takes us to Thanksgiving weekend (Canadian for our international friends), mid October 2010.  The weather: gorgeous!! Sunny, warm, perfect.  This fact does little to keep me from desparately missing Tido (see the trend?).  Suddenly, the light bulb goes on!!  The weather is beautiful.  I have room to keep one more for a few days time.   We are all brushed up on our trailer loading. Why not bring him home  for the weekend?  And that is just what we did ....

Here is my sweet boy - just arrived "home" for a 3 day vacation from his pals at the barn. 

Tido meeting Baby Jesse.  She has no fear of strangers.

When will she outgrow the "don't eat me, I'm a baby!" routine?

This photo brings tears to my eyes.  It is a picture of peace and happiness. 

I can't even tell you how much I love this horse and what a joy it was to feed him and pick up his poop and look out the window and see him and find him waiting at the fence for me and go for a ride and wake up knowing he was here .....

Isn't it amazing what confidence can do?  Gives you lots more opportunities to explore "why not?" and "can you?'  Just looking at these photos I don't feel quite so blue about missing my play today.   Maybe, just maybe I can carve out a few minutes to play with my baby-girl horse this afternoon ..... and my boy will be just as happy to see me when I get to the barn tomorrow!

What is the Point of Doing This?

Having just read the blog entry of Marta Sobczak on Parelli Central entitled, "When you Think of Parelli, What Do you Think of?", I thought I would take a few moments to answer this question for myself.

I could say all the usual words that pop to mind when I think of Parelli: partnership, freedom, fun, friends, learning ..... but really, its way more than that.  Its climbing on my horse bareback and feeling that sense of WOW that this gorgeous animal lets me go along with him.   Its being kid-on-christmas-excited to go to the barn instead of  nausea-inducing-dread going to the barn.  Its about the simplicity of popping a in a DVD to learn more instead of waiting for a weekly "riding lesson".  It is the re-found joy of doing nothing more than breathing in their horsey smell and being destressed by their steady munching sounds as they eat their evening feed.   It is the freedom to hug him when I want to and know he will never be ruined by too much love.   It is laughing and chatting with my Parelli friends on a gorgeous Tuesday afternoon as we try to remember something Ron taught in a clinic back in the spring of '09.    Its having a better relationship with your husband, your kids and your dogs ... and yourself ....because of what you learned from Parelli. 

When I think of Parelli, I think of an open door.   It is a rebirth back to where I started with horses as a kid.  Back when your first question was "what is he thinking?" and your second was, "how can I tell him what I want so he'll understand?"

So that's it - a little sappy but out there for the world to see.   I have to say that I love the question, "what is the point of doing this?"  The answer is so very, very simple it took me 20 years to figure it out.  Simply ... because I can!

Coming soon: my comments from our Level 3 clinic with Ron Pyne on Oct 16 & 17.  I'll leave you with a picture of my cute little chihuahua hating his pumpkin costume .... sometimes it is necessary to seek revenge on little dogs who shred toilet paper rolls all over the house!