What is the Point of Doing This?

Having just read the blog entry of Marta Sobczak on Parelli Central entitled, "When you Think of Parelli, What Do you Think of?", I thought I would take a few moments to answer this question for myself.

I could say all the usual words that pop to mind when I think of Parelli: partnership, freedom, fun, friends, learning ..... but really, its way more than that.  Its climbing on my horse bareback and feeling that sense of WOW that this gorgeous animal lets me go along with him.   Its being kid-on-christmas-excited to go to the barn instead of  nausea-inducing-dread going to the barn.  Its about the simplicity of popping a in a DVD to learn more instead of waiting for a weekly "riding lesson".  It is the re-found joy of doing nothing more than breathing in their horsey smell and being destressed by their steady munching sounds as they eat their evening feed.   It is the freedom to hug him when I want to and know he will never be ruined by too much love.   It is laughing and chatting with my Parelli friends on a gorgeous Tuesday afternoon as we try to remember something Ron taught in a clinic back in the spring of '09.    Its having a better relationship with your husband, your kids and your dogs ... and yourself ....because of what you learned from Parelli. 

When I think of Parelli, I think of an open door.   It is a rebirth back to where I started with horses as a kid.  Back when your first question was "what is he thinking?" and your second was, "how can I tell him what I want so he'll understand?"

So that's it - a little sappy but out there for the world to see.   I have to say that I love the question, "what is the point of doing this?"  The answer is so very, very simple it took me 20 years to figure it out.  Simply ... because I can!

Coming soon: my comments from our Level 3 clinic with Ron Pyne on Oct 16 & 17.  I'll leave you with a picture of my cute little chihuahua hating his pumpkin costume .... sometimes it is necessary to seek revenge on little dogs who shred toilet paper rolls all over the house!

How to Train Your Dragon ...er .. Horse!

So yes, Ron Pyne has been and gone.  We went in, survived, and came out the other side - more knowledgeable and certainly more exhausted than we began!!  Success all around but, as my brain is still overwelmed with the sheer volume of "stuff" learned, I will wait to blog about our adventures in Ronland when my cranium is quieter and I catch up on the many nights of lost sleep (due to anxiety - not because we were partying in the barn!)!

This week brought the release of one of my favourite kid movies to video.   Generally, I find movies geared for the younger set mildly entertaining and occasionally hit on one that is downright amazing.  How to Train Your Dragon was one such movie for me.  Of course the animation was great, well written, great characters .... but the concept of the movie is what entriges me.  The story of a young, geekish, viking boy who just doesn't have the heart to fight the local dragons, as his classmates do, goes against his father's and his communities wishes and ... wait for it .... trains one to be his friend (in secret of course!).  Using love, language and leadership (and a whole lot of friendly game) the young boy flies off into the sunset on his new friend!   But the real story unfolds as the boy needs to demonstrate to his fellow vikings that changing behaviour practiced by hundred of generations and befriending the dragons has far more benefits than battling against them.   Hmmm - sound familiar??  Eerily so.  

I am struck how often I discover (and use!) Parelli in the non-horsey parts of my life.  4 Phases work amazingly when raising kids for instance!  And my 10 year struggle to lose my baby weight suddenly became clear with the statement: "if you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always gotten."  Hmm -  after 10 years its safe to say that what I am currently doing isn't working - time to try something different!!  And yes - good, bad or otherwise - you can turn a RBI chihuahua into a LBE and the best little guard dog on the block!!

My First Question is Always ... Why?

     Occasionally the word "skeptic" has been used in conjunction with my name when discussing Parelli.  A fellow Parelli-er jokes that I run a close second to her for the record number of times a clinic participant can ask "why?" on a single weekend.  I find the word "skeptic" to be too negative in nature to describe me, but I am proud to be a highly-ranked why-asker!!  
     Like so many, I started my Parelli journey in a desperate attempt to cure my fear.  Attendance at that Level 1 clinic in May 2008 was a last ditch attempt to acheive some kind of understanding with my horse.  I was worn down with the burden of living in constant fear of something I loved so much and the urge to walk away from horses entirely was nipping at the corners of my mind.   Up to that moment, I had spent almost 17 years listening to anyone who could give me advice in hopes of acheiving my goals (goals which in hindsight were completely scattered and undefined).  My fairy-tale beginning started at the Level 1 clinic, and I walked out fighting tears of relief and taking joy in the deep down confidence that finally, I was on the right path.
     The #1 lesson learned that weekend and the lesson that has guided me every day since: that my gut instinct is my biggest teacher.  If I just stop and listen to myself,  deep down I know for certain when it is right, or not.  My fear developed when I stopped trusting myself and blindly followed advice or teaching of others.   So at the conclusion of that clinic, I vowed to always ask "why?" on behalf of my horse and myself to safe guard our partnership.  I ask "why" to learn the logic behind what is being taught.  I ask "why" to see a vision of how the task will look in the future.  I ask "why" to clarify teachings that seem to conflict with each other.  I ask "why" to advance my learning.  And then, after learning as much as possible with an open mind, I reserve the right to make an informed decision, on behalf of our herd of two, and decline a task if I feel it isn't right for one, or both of us.   It was blindly following what others told me that almost took my true passion from me and asking "why" keeps me honest with myself.   And Parelli is no exception!  There may come a day when I decline a task - temporarily or permanently.  But that is how I define Savvy - the courage to learn with an open mind, open eyes and open heart and to progress confidently forward, all while carefully listening to yourself and your horse.  

So yup - I ask a lot of questions - appropriately timed and respectfully asked of course!   I am not afraid to ask - I owe it to myself and my horse ('cause he can't talk yet!).  And yes, my Parelli Instructor might have nightmares of someone constantly repeating  why? why? why? ... but he has broad shoulders and I am sure he can handle it!

Clinic countdown = 8 days ........

The Important Role of the Playgroup

Tuesday was one of our bi-weekly Parelli Playgroup sessions.   Time to get together, play with horses (or without), visit, chat and eat.   Time to catch up on horsey (or non-horsey) news and to applaud the little victories.  But most important, time to support each other through the challenges of our individual learning pathways and help each other to stay progressive.   I am constantly amazed at the vast differences between the ages and stages of each member of our group but how close and supportive our little Parelli "family" has become.  The accomplishments from this group are too many to mention - but we are amazing!! Thank you group - it wouldn't be nearly as much fun without you!!

Tido had a great play on Tuesday.  Ever so slowly he is gaining confidence playing with me on his right side and I can see and feel a much more balanced horse!  It is such a joy to watch him concentrating on something new and not trying to "hide" by putting his left eye on me.  Such a subtle habit on his part and took over a year to identify it as a "problem" (thank's Ron for helping figure out the puzzle!).  In hindsight the signs were clear but .... what can I say, Tido's mischevious nature also lends to a great ability to cover up his weak areas!!  The sweet finale to the day was Tido hanging his head over the gate of the pasture and watching me leave.  I am deeply honored when he would rather spend time with me than grazing or being in the herd.  It is indeed a privlege to be his partner and moments like that just confirm that we are on the right path! 

So my nerves are starting to tingle a bit as I look at the calendar and realize that we are just 14 days until the continuing Level 3 clinic with Ron (Pyne).  Always a pleasure to spend two days with Ron but stressful just the same.  Have I spent enough time practicing perfectly what was covered in the spring clinic??  What challenges will he give us this round??  And all while learning in front of a small audience - yeesh - I still maintain that all Ron's clinics should come with a sedative for the night before!!   Ron - we are ready for the big green ball soccer challenge - you won't beat us this time!!  14 days to go ....

Joy, Tempered with Regrets .. the Mental Journey Continues.

The past few months have been a period of mental growth for me.  My confidence has risen to such snowy peaks, I often surprise myself.  I guard it like a newborn baby, being every vigilant about our safety to protect it and keep it from suffering a setback.  The freedom that confidence gives me is intoxicating.  Freedom to ride bareback more often than saddled, the freedom to seek the most imaginative ways to do seemingly mundane tasks.  The freedom to lay on the grass in the pasture at 38 years of age and look at the sky - just because I can.   I often joke that I am right back where I was at 12 years of age.  Back to when horses were fun and nothing was impossible.  Back to when just "hanging out" with my horse was one of life's true joys.   But my 38 year old brain starts to regret - all those years from age 14 forward when I paid money for someone to take that joy away.  I paid someone to tell me that I spoiled my horse by hugging him too much and I would never reach my goals unless I changed what I was doing.  I paid someone to tell me that if you weren't riding, you weren't doing any at all.   Today's joys are tainted by almost a quarter century of paying money for training that was actually taking me further away from where I was meant to be all along.   How do I let go of those regrets and lost years that almost took my moment-of-birth, passionate love of horses from me forever?  I am diligent now in trying to slow it down and enjoy the moments to not rush in an unconscious effort to make up for lost time.   I take comfort in knowing that my Parelli journey started when it was right for me, not a day too soon or a day too late. 

Back to Blogging ...

I can't believe how long it has been since I last posted on my blog!! I have truly missed being able to journal my experiences and am happy to be back to the keyboard! So much has happened in the last year, I don't even know where to begin. I think I will need to blog several posts to catch up!


This first post is about a trip Tido and I made, in June, to the outdoor playground of one of our Parelli Playgroup members. It was our first trip out together, in the 13 months we've been together, and it was so refreshing to get "off the farm" - so to speak.  We had a great time, challenging ourselves with all the obstacles at Teresa's playground and Tido having his very first swim! The best way to show you is in pictures!  We can't wait to visit again and, if the weather cooperates, both of us can swim together!

Our first look into the deep, scary ditch!  Tido is very uncertain ...

Taking the time it takes - one tiny step at a time.

"It's okay buddy - take your time."

SUCCESS!!!  60 minutes from start to finish! 

He went right through every time after!

Following the leader.

Picture entitled "The Medal Winners!"

Tido's first pond play - having fun with his feet.

"Oooh this water tastes good!"

"Look mom - I am a fish!!"

Level 2 Refinement Clinic - Day 2

Funny how for weeks post-clinic, little bits and pieces pop into your mind! I have been busy writing things down, in order to refer back to notes over the long, long winter ahead!

Day 2 began similar to Day 1 - with an online session. Ron offered some assistance with Tido's yo-yo game. Tido has the "to" part down pat, but when asking for the "from" (or away) part, he backs away crooked - always taking a step to his left. As a goal for Level 2 is to demand more and better of our partnership, I asked Ron for some suggestions on perfecting our yo-yo. As always with Ron - I was left shaking my head and muttering to myself "why didn't I think of that?". Ron suggested I practice yo-yo next to a wall or fence. After some dealing with a mild right brained reaction by Tido, sure enough he backed away nice and straight. Ironically, whenever yo-yo came into effect throughout the rest of the clinic, whether against a wall or otherwise, he backed away straight. Boy does he learn fast!!!

Next was a session of playtime during extreme chaos. A large circle of auditors and clinic participants was formed. Two at a time, participants would play with circle game over a barrel while the others waved things