Happy Natural New Year!!

As we moved into 2012 - it was a natural time to reflect on the previous year and look forward to all that the newness of another year will bring.  A few of us on Parelli Connect and my local playgroup took the time to come up with a list entitled "10 Things" - 10 things we are most proud of accomplished in 2011 and 10 things we are setting as goals for 2012.   While I did post this list on PC on January 1st - I am going to post it again - one would maybe wonder why I find this exercise important enough to post twice ... but my reason is this.  I discovered last year that stating your goals and putting them out into the world for others to see, makes them easier to achieve.  If you have a goal and only you know about it - if it doesn't get accomplished, you can slide it under the rug as if it never existed in the first place!  Stating goals aloud makes me more accountable!   So here it is:

10 Accomplishments from 2011

1.    I can't remember what fear feels like!
2.    I strengthened my existing Parelli friendships and made lots of new friends!
3.    I connected with instructors and a doorway to unlimited opportunities for learning.
4.    I got better with the 45' line and learned how to use it safely.
5.    I rode with Walter Zettl.
6.    I have ridden Tido enough without a bridle that if seems "normal".
7.    I played more at Liberty than ever - not enough to be truly passionate about it, but enough to respect
          why it is an important savvy.
8.    My relationship with my horse was stronger at the end of the year than at the beginning.
9.    I learned I am an RBI (axis point) and that my Humanality isn't a negative condition.
10.  I am right where I should be.

10 Goals for 2012

1.   Work to get proper facilities at home so that my Tido can be just outside my door!
2.   Physical Fitness - improve my balance, flexibility and endurance by being savvy with myself.
3.   Learn from Walter Zettl again!
4.   Ride a flying lead change.
5.   Trailer load, at liberty, while sitting on the roof of the trailer.
6.   Ride an experienced dressage horse to gain a better understanding of how some of these more
        advance movements feel when performed correctly.
7.   Renew my old passion for jumping.
8.   Trail ride regularly with a confident Tido and a confident me.
9.   Start my young Jessie while always having her stay calm and confident.
10. Take advantage of every learning opportunity that comes my way!

Sending out all my best wishes and hopes to everyone for a peaceful, successful and fun filled 2012!

Breaking Down My Preconceptions & Assumptions

I've made it no secret that I have dealt with my weight for many, many years.  It has been the #1 thorn in my side for the last decade or so.  I know that I originally gained the weight for two main reasons ...
#1 I gave birth to a set of twins in 1999 and my life unequivocally changed forever - from being an active, working out of the house newly wed to a homebound, stay-at-home mom of two tiny babies - a drastic life change that caused me to head straight to the fridge and my exercise level to drop to almost nothing!
#2 I started dealing with some major medical issues with my reproductive system that left me in chronic pain and suffering from exhaustion 80% of the time.
So today I am in a place where the reasons that caused me to gain weight all those years ago are no longer a factor - my kids are old enough to not even require a babysitter any longer and I had a hysterectomy in 2008.  The time is right and I am ready to start pursuing the thinner, fitter body I once had.

So how to go about it.  Weight Watchers has worked for me .. somewhat.  But my reality is that certain foods, the foods that I really love, cause me digestive upset and increased cravings for unhealthy foods.  These foods, any foods are perfectly acceptable on Weight Watchers as long as they are accounted for.  But I know that they do me harm.  So for the last few months I have been searching for a weight loss program that will not only cause me to lose weight but help me identify what foods are best for my body.  Last year, the Parelli world watched as Pat & Linda slimmed to shadows of themselves on a diet Pat talked about as the "HcG Diet".   Several weeks ago, I decided that I would look into this HcG diet.   Going straight to the source,  I called the Body Shop in Pagosa Springs, Colorado for the details.   Needless to say, after some research and concluding that I wasn't going to harm myself on a 500 calorie per day diet - I signed on with Linda at the Body Shop to give it a go.  First, my inbox filled with document after document that I needed to read (the food lists by blood type is amazing and spot on for me!!).  Then just this morning a shipment arrived filled with bottle after bottle of supplements, tea, soap, toothpaste - even deodorant!!  Everything I need to get going ... and ...... I am petrified!

Why am I so nervous of this??  I am nervous of anything referred to as "all natural".  My vision of anything produced naturally is that someone went out in the field, picked something that looked like weeds, ground it up, put it in pill form and expects it to be the next cure of the century.  All right - I am sceptical of the homeopathic/natureopathic movement.  My impression is that the products work "o.k" - not really very well but the consumer mentally feels better in the knowledge that they are natural.  Alternative therapies and medicines make me think that they are second best, a choice when you don't have access to the best option - that from the medical community.  So where did this mindset come from?  Why am I so sceptical of something that comes in a plain brown packaging?  I don't really know.  But I need to open my mind to the possibilities and accept that what I have done so far really hasn't worked that well - so why not?

It is the same thing with me and the red light therapy - for horses and humans.  I am sceptical maybe because it seems so easy.  And because I can't for the life of me figure out how what looks like a red Christmas tree light mounted in a flashlight can possibly make a difference to a 1200 lb animal.  But you know, I was once sceptical of Parelli too.  But I went to that first Level 1 clinic with an open mind .. and now look where I am!!  Time for me to drop the preconceptions and assumptions that block my vision and try.  Maybe while I am busy sorting supplements and getting underway with the HcG diet,  I should take the course and learn more about the red light therapy too.  Who knows maybe the outcome will be like that of my first Level 1 Parelli course and my life will be forever changed.

Wish me luck!! I don't think I'll be eating organic granola and wearing hemp clothing anytime soon, but I just might learn more about my body and what it really needs (instead of what I think it needs!).   I'll update 45 days from now and revisit this topic again!  Stay tuned!

A Start to a Better World for Horses

    It was with interest today that I read Parelli's E-news outlining their plans for stepping up on a charitable level to make the world a better place for horses through the Parelli Horsemanship Fund (read the entire white paper found at: www.parellihorsemanshipfund.org).   As a Parelli student and avid horse enthusiast, I read with interest.  The fund is to be aimed in 4 main streams: 
          1.  Youth Programs
          2.  Educational Scholarships
          3.  Horse Rescue Centres
          4.  Therapeutic Riding & ParaEquestrian Riding
There is no doubt, and I am sure that everyone will agree, that these are very worthy choices to focus the funds and time necessary to invoke change.  However, immediately I have several important questions that arise:
    ~Will the Fund be aimed at the above four areas worldwide or just in the countries that contain Parelli  Centres? 
    ~ How will they administer their fund to Youth programs when so little has been directed specifically to youth in the past? It would be fair to say that only the Youth of Parelli parents have access to the program and currently none of the 5 Parelli Professionals I know of make any effort to have youth involved on any level. Will some of the Educational Scholarship funds be directed to people who seek to become a Parelli Professional specifically to teach children?? 
    
     After reading through the aim of the Fund, the second section gives some steps on how I can help.  It seems simple, in order to be more effective, the number of Parelli students needs to increase.  However, this where I think things get a little off track.  Think about it for a minute, "You spread the word. We Donate. Horses and Humans Win."  Seems simple right?? Until we realize that the majority of Parelliers are already spreading the word.  Alot.  To anyone who shows an interest.  
    And this is where I have trouble with the Parelli model.   People seeking information about Parelli are directed to the website and the current free Level 1 program.  All good.  But to really get a feel for Parelli, the best option is to take a Level 1 Clinic.  The snag - we are being told that Parelli Professionals are only able to teach to Savvy Club members.  The reality is that joining the Savvy Club is too much financial commitment when you are just getting started. 
    To get more people trying Parelli and seeing for themselves what a great program it is for horses and humans, I feel more needs to be done at the Professional and Corporate Level.  There should be a reduced rate for all Level 1 clinics.  I am not saying they should be free but more attractive for first time participants.  This would in turn bring more people into Parelli.  Professionals would be busier than ever with a larger number of active students!  And demos.  There should be Parelli representation at all major horse events and festivals in countries where there are active Parelli Professionals and students.  Here in Ontario, Canada, Parelli is almost an underground movement.  There are no advertisements in our horse publications.  There are no Parelli booths or demonstrations at our large horse events and festivals.   To find Parelli - you have to know someone or be really motivated to find out where to start.   Parelli students are already spreading the word but more needs to come from higher up.  

It is a start and certainly more than most other horse organizations are doing.  And while I consider myself generally optimistic - I sincerely hope that what I have read doesn't benefit an elite few and we feel and see the benefits close to our own Parelli homes. 

Keeping it Natural!

Babies - A Different Breed

   So I am always telling Jesse stories to my Parelli playgroup.  They must secretly laugh at my utter astonishment upon discovering that young horses are soooo different from mature horses.  Having never owned a horse younger than 4 years of age, acquiring my yearling filly last spring opened my eyes to an entirely new world.  Life with Jesse around is never, ever dull and what I have learned from her in just the 8 short months she has been in my life - could already fill a novel!
   I shall start with her latest escapade.  One morning just a few weeks ago, my kids were bustling around getting their outside clothes on, grabbing lunch pails and heaving backpacks onto shoulders.  All of a sudden - they were screaming!!!  "There is a horse on the deck!!!"  Sure enough, there is Ms. Jesse-Lou, looking in the mudroom door with an expression like, "what's for breakfast??"  Of course the kids thought this was the funniest thing ever and, lucky for me, all their friends got a chance to see when the bus came along a few moments later (what the neighbours must think .... but I digress).    Now, it should be said that in my pre-Parelli days, I would have definitely freaked out - thereby making the job of removing a horse from the deck much more difficult.   But savvy changes things ... so I strolled out the door with a happy-to-see-her expression, greeted her with a friendly stroking session.  Then I casually sauntered off the deck towards the barn with a friendly, "well let's find you some breakfast" and walked away.  I didn't look back and sure enough moments later Jesse was trundling along beside me heading for her stall.  Oh - I should mention - Jesse has figured out how to open gates ... hence the deck experience.   She also thinks its great sport to flip the float heater out of the trough ... hence the cronically frozen water.
   What I love most about having her in my life - you ask??  Her play drive.  It is extreme.  This filly will play any time, day or night.  She is a LBE - calm, confident and curious.   Whenever she sees me, she canters to where I am - leaving food and/or friends, just to let me know that if I ever want to play, she is ready.  One night in August of this year, I took the chihuahua out for his last piddle before bed.  There was Ms. Jess in the grass paddock alongside the house, whinnying to get my attention - at 11:30pm.  Such a warm, moonlit night - I thought "why not - there are no rules about playing only during daylight hours".  So we played.  I got the ball out and we played soccer with her at Liberty and had a rousing game of Stick to Me.  Afterwards, I was speechless at the beauty and enthusiasm of that play and was humbled by the realization of what I had just done - played with a yearling in the moonlight!!  A dream come true - a dream I hadn't even dreamt of!
   The drawback of having such a wonderful horse in my life?? She is a source of guilt.  On days when I can't fit in a play session - I feel guilty.  I feel like I have let her down - I see images of her face waiting for me at the gate.  When these feelings set in, I try to put it in perspective.  She could have been purchased by someone who would have just turned her out and not touched her until after her third birthday.  She could have fallen into hands that believe that "breaking" a horse also includes breaking her spirit as well as her body.  She could have found a home that treated her play drive as naughty, something to be disciplined out of her.   So although I can't endulge her by devoting 23.5 hours per day to playing with her - she has a bright future ahead of her and lives a happy life.   And me?  She makes me a better person.  Without a doubt.

So stay tuned for more Jesse-capades!  I am sure she has lots to teach me and me to teach her! 

Wanna play?

Wanna play?

 
  

Seeing Perfection Years Later

Last week I had a light bulb moment when reading Linda Parelli's blog post entitled Things Change written November 11, 2010.  Linda's writings, "I believe that life is perfect, and is unfolding exactly as it should.  I have learned through experience that you don't see the perfection of what occurs until many years later..."  gave me the opportunity to see something I have instinctively always known, put into words.  I have always believed that things happen for a reason - good, bad or otherwise.  But sometimes reflecting on the path that leads us to today, makes the journey more clear!

Way, way back in 1992, at the tender age of 20, I was horseless.  Being horseless for an obsessed horse-lover-since-birth is a very difficult situation to find oneself in.  But University education left little time, or money, for my passion and I had to make do without.  Arriving home during my second year for Christmas break, Dec 23rd found me hearing about a horse that I must "go see" from a neighbouring horseman.  Giving this suggestion no thought at all - I carried on with my day.  That night - I found myself bolt upright in bed awoken from a deep sleep with one thought - I had to go see this horse!!  I anxiously waited 4 days for my appointment to see a horse I knew very little about; a 4 year old bay thoroughbred gelding off the track,  abandoned by his owners at a holding facility, for sale for the price of his outstanding board.  With a whole lot of luck and fate intervening - I brought Charlie home Dec 27th.  From our very first ride - he taught me about trust and together we looked after each other.   He was my perfect partner in every sense and we had a wonderful 11 years together. 

Charlie  1989-2004

On March 5th, 2004, my horse world blew apart.  At that time, Charlie was stabled at my parent's barn as I had three very small children and precious little time for daily horse care.  After having a horribly, restless sleep that Saturday night, I found myself the next morning watching the clock until it was an appropriate hour to call my parents house (completely out of character for me I can assure you).   I knew instantly upon hearing my Mom's wavering voice say "Hello?" that tragedy had struck.  We had had a quick thaw that week and Charlie had been running around the paddock with typical spring sillies.  That fateful day, his hind leg had sunk deep in the mud and as he spun to gallop back up the field, he broke his leg above the hock.   Thankfully, my dad discovered him soon after and quickly made the decision to put him out of his pain.  At just 16 years of age, my best friend was gone.   For the next 365 days, I didn't have horses in my life - at all.  I couldn't continue without my partner and couldn't bring myself to consider the possibility that I would ever find another perfect partner for me. 

But my old friend the "horse bug",  bit again about a year after Charlie's death and after much research, I purchased the appaloosa gelding who became the stepping stone for me discovering Parelli.   One of my goals when shopping for another horse - was to purchase one that was not a bay thoroughbred gelding.   My tender heart couldn't handle the reminder of what I had lost.  The next four years were very difficult and subconsciously, I expected this young appy to fill some pretty big shoes.  In hindsight, an unfair expectation for him.  For the first time in my horsey life, I learned some harsh lessons about fear and for the second time in my life, my lifelong passion for horses was almost lost to me.  But Parelli came along at exactly the right moment!   Parelli (and watching Linda's lesson with Walter Zettle in Harristburg, PA in 2009) helped me decide that without trust - we weren't ever going to be perfect partners.  I took a risk,  found a wonderful new home for my appy and began the search for my perfect partner.  Could I find two perfect partners in the same lifetime?

The picture that brought Tido into my life!  May 2009

This is where my story becomes a happily-ever-after.  Tido's beautiful bald white face appeared on my computer screen one day just hours after selling my appy,  in a Horse For Sale ad resulting from me accidently striking an incorrect key on my keyboard.   Deja vu kicked in and I found myself on a familiar path - I had to see this horse!!  I waited 4 anxious days for my appointment time to arrive - praying that he wouldn't be sold in the meantime (hhmm sounding familiar?).  May 27, 2009 I sat on a strange horse, in a strange saddle, in a strange barn, with his owner watching, and instantly felt an old friend surface - trust.  Mutual trust.  I was home.  My broken heart  began to heal that day as Tido travelled home with me.   He has been my perfect partner since that day forward.   And the irony of it all - Tido's birthday is ... March 2004.  

So I, too, believe that life is perfect, unfolding exactly as it should.  And I didn't, or couldn't see it, until many years later.  It takes a lot of confidence to get you through those tragic times, but they are as much a part of the journey as the good times.   Without the heartbreak and pain, I wouldn't be where I am today - finding true joy in my horse obsession, having more fun than I ever thought possible and achieving things I never dared to even dream about.  Looking back, it is now easy to see how perfect the path was that led me to today.

What is the Point of Doing This?

Having just read the blog entry of Marta Sobczak on Parelli Central entitled, "When you Think of Parelli, What Do you Think of?", I thought I would take a few moments to answer this question for myself.

I could say all the usual words that pop to mind when I think of Parelli: partnership, freedom, fun, friends, learning ..... but really, its way more than that.  Its climbing on my horse bareback and feeling that sense of WOW that this gorgeous animal lets me go along with him.   Its being kid-on-christmas-excited to go to the barn instead of  nausea-inducing-dread going to the barn.  Its about the simplicity of popping a in a DVD to learn more instead of waiting for a weekly "riding lesson".  It is the re-found joy of doing nothing more than breathing in their horsey smell and being destressed by their steady munching sounds as they eat their evening feed.   It is the freedom to hug him when I want to and know he will never be ruined by too much love.   It is laughing and chatting with my Parelli friends on a gorgeous Tuesday afternoon as we try to remember something Ron taught in a clinic back in the spring of '09.    Its having a better relationship with your husband, your kids and your dogs ... and yourself ....because of what you learned from Parelli. 

When I think of Parelli, I think of an open door.   It is a rebirth back to where I started with horses as a kid.  Back when your first question was "what is he thinking?" and your second was, "how can I tell him what I want so he'll understand?"

So that's it - a little sappy but out there for the world to see.   I have to say that I love the question, "what is the point of doing this?"  The answer is so very, very simple it took me 20 years to figure it out.  Simply ... because I can!

Coming soon: my comments from our Level 3 clinic with Ron Pyne on Oct 16 & 17.  I'll leave you with a picture of my cute little chihuahua hating his pumpkin costume .... sometimes it is necessary to seek revenge on little dogs who shred toilet paper rolls all over the house!

How to Train Your Dragon ...er .. Horse!

So yes, Ron Pyne has been and gone.  We went in, survived, and came out the other side - more knowledgeable and certainly more exhausted than we began!!  Success all around but, as my brain is still overwelmed with the sheer volume of "stuff" learned, I will wait to blog about our adventures in Ronland when my cranium is quieter and I catch up on the many nights of lost sleep (due to anxiety - not because we were partying in the barn!)!

This week brought the release of one of my favourite kid movies to video.   Generally, I find movies geared for the younger set mildly entertaining and occasionally hit on one that is downright amazing.  How to Train Your Dragon was one such movie for me.  Of course the animation was great, well written, great characters .... but the concept of the movie is what entriges me.  The story of a young, geekish, viking boy who just doesn't have the heart to fight the local dragons, as his classmates do, goes against his father's and his communities wishes and ... wait for it .... trains one to be his friend (in secret of course!).  Using love, language and leadership (and a whole lot of friendly game) the young boy flies off into the sunset on his new friend!   But the real story unfolds as the boy needs to demonstrate to his fellow vikings that changing behaviour practiced by hundred of generations and befriending the dragons has far more benefits than battling against them.   Hmmm - sound familiar??  Eerily so.  

I am struck how often I discover (and use!) Parelli in the non-horsey parts of my life.  4 Phases work amazingly when raising kids for instance!  And my 10 year struggle to lose my baby weight suddenly became clear with the statement: "if you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always gotten."  Hmm -  after 10 years its safe to say that what I am currently doing isn't working - time to try something different!!  And yes - good, bad or otherwise - you can turn a RBI chihuahua into a LBE and the best little guard dog on the block!!

My First Question is Always ... Why?

     Occasionally the word "skeptic" has been used in conjunction with my name when discussing Parelli.  A fellow Parelli-er jokes that I run a close second to her for the record number of times a clinic participant can ask "why?" on a single weekend.  I find the word "skeptic" to be too negative in nature to describe me, but I am proud to be a highly-ranked why-asker!!  
     Like so many, I started my Parelli journey in a desperate attempt to cure my fear.  Attendance at that Level 1 clinic in May 2008 was a last ditch attempt to acheive some kind of understanding with my horse.  I was worn down with the burden of living in constant fear of something I loved so much and the urge to walk away from horses entirely was nipping at the corners of my mind.   Up to that moment, I had spent almost 17 years listening to anyone who could give me advice in hopes of acheiving my goals (goals which in hindsight were completely scattered and undefined).  My fairy-tale beginning started at the Level 1 clinic, and I walked out fighting tears of relief and taking joy in the deep down confidence that finally, I was on the right path.
     The #1 lesson learned that weekend and the lesson that has guided me every day since: that my gut instinct is my biggest teacher.  If I just stop and listen to myself,  deep down I know for certain when it is right, or not.  My fear developed when I stopped trusting myself and blindly followed advice or teaching of others.   So at the conclusion of that clinic, I vowed to always ask "why?" on behalf of my horse and myself to safe guard our partnership.  I ask "why" to learn the logic behind what is being taught.  I ask "why" to see a vision of how the task will look in the future.  I ask "why" to clarify teachings that seem to conflict with each other.  I ask "why" to advance my learning.  And then, after learning as much as possible with an open mind, I reserve the right to make an informed decision, on behalf of our herd of two, and decline a task if I feel it isn't right for one, or both of us.   It was blindly following what others told me that almost took my true passion from me and asking "why" keeps me honest with myself.   And Parelli is no exception!  There may come a day when I decline a task - temporarily or permanently.  But that is how I define Savvy - the courage to learn with an open mind, open eyes and open heart and to progress confidently forward, all while carefully listening to yourself and your horse.  

So yup - I ask a lot of questions - appropriately timed and respectfully asked of course!   I am not afraid to ask - I owe it to myself and my horse ('cause he can't talk yet!).  And yes, my Parelli Instructor might have nightmares of someone constantly repeating  why? why? why? ... but he has broad shoulders and I am sure he can handle it!

Clinic countdown = 8 days ........

The Important Role of the Playgroup

Tuesday was one of our bi-weekly Parelli Playgroup sessions.   Time to get together, play with horses (or without), visit, chat and eat.   Time to catch up on horsey (or non-horsey) news and to applaud the little victories.  But most important, time to support each other through the challenges of our individual learning pathways and help each other to stay progressive.   I am constantly amazed at the vast differences between the ages and stages of each member of our group but how close and supportive our little Parelli "family" has become.  The accomplishments from this group are too many to mention - but we are amazing!! Thank you group - it wouldn't be nearly as much fun without you!!

Tido had a great play on Tuesday.  Ever so slowly he is gaining confidence playing with me on his right side and I can see and feel a much more balanced horse!  It is such a joy to watch him concentrating on something new and not trying to "hide" by putting his left eye on me.  Such a subtle habit on his part and took over a year to identify it as a "problem" (thank's Ron for helping figure out the puzzle!).  In hindsight the signs were clear but .... what can I say, Tido's mischevious nature also lends to a great ability to cover up his weak areas!!  The sweet finale to the day was Tido hanging his head over the gate of the pasture and watching me leave.  I am deeply honored when he would rather spend time with me than grazing or being in the herd.  It is indeed a privlege to be his partner and moments like that just confirm that we are on the right path! 

So my nerves are starting to tingle a bit as I look at the calendar and realize that we are just 14 days until the continuing Level 3 clinic with Ron (Pyne).  Always a pleasure to spend two days with Ron but stressful just the same.  Have I spent enough time practicing perfectly what was covered in the spring clinic??  What challenges will he give us this round??  And all while learning in front of a small audience - yeesh - I still maintain that all Ron's clinics should come with a sedative for the night before!!   Ron - we are ready for the big green ball soccer challenge - you won't beat us this time!!  14 days to go ....