Observations from the Pool

This morning was the second-to-last, 45 minute, swimming class for my three kids.  For just a day shy of two weeks, we have made the daily trek to the town pool for their lessons.  Each day it has been an untold blessing to have 45 minutes of quiet.  I have enjoyed sitting under the shade tree of the local park reading or watching long awaited Savvy Club DVD's on the portable player.  Bliss!!  Today I was told by my 7 year old son, in no uncertain terms, that I was NOT to watch horse videos and I must watch his entire lesson.  From my vantage point at the top of the bleachers I had the perfect view of my son and all the other swimmers and their parents, grandparents and caregivers. 

In the tot swim group located in the shallow end, one little fellow was having a bit of a rough time.  Throughout his entire 30 minute class he had a long, low wailing, hiccuping type cry.  For whatever the reason, on this day, he just was not enjoying his lesson and playtime with the instructor and other children.  His mother along with the child's grandparents were sitting in front of me and I heard several comments about "how silly he was behaving" and "what is wrong with him - he never behaves like this!".   After the lessons finished and the pool cleared of swimmers, I entered the family dressing room with my son and again heard that long, dry, wailing cry.  The little boy's mother was quickly dressing him in his street clothes while glancing at the other parents with an embarrassed , apologetic look.  Again as we walked through the parking lot and sat in the truck waiting for my older children to surface from the dressing rooms, that long, low cry was close in proximity.  The little boy's mother and grandparents were standing around him starring at him as though he had suddenly turned a different colour, discussing why this normally quiet little fellow was having this meltdown.   Finally, after much rolling of eyes and shrugging of shoulders, the mother got a soft look on her face, bent down and scooped him up.  Immediately, his arms went about her neck, his eyes closed and .... he stopped crying.  She rocked him back and forth and his face brightened and he looked peaceful and calm.   A few minutes later when she set him down, he scampered off after his sister to check out the playground - everything right in his world again. 

This scene hit home with me.  At events with horses, how often do we ourselves witness others or say the words, "he never does this at home" or "why won't he just behave?".   How often do we roll our eyes at each other in sympathy over our horse's behaviour?  How often do we turn our back on a horse who is in distress over the situation or new environment with an attitude of "he'll get over it"?  

Sometimes our horses need a hug.  They need us to slow down and give them some time to gain strength and confidence from us.  They need us to set aside the goal of participating in the event and put our principle of love, language and leadership first.  They need us to not make excuses for them and just "be" in the moment with them to help them through it.  Hugs can be defined in many ways - from simply removing them from the situation to a quieter location to soothing friendly game in all forms.  After a pre-Parelli lifetime of growing up being told that hugs would spoil my horse, it is a relief to have the freedom to give my horse a hug when he needs it.    And I do.  Every so often it is a full out arms around his neck human hug.  But every time, we walk away with my horse's expression just like that of the little boy at the swimming pool - calm and confident and running ahead looking for the next adventure!   So the question remains - have you hugged your horse today??

Step off the Path into Silly

How did I get here?  I don't know the exact moment I arrived ... here.   Three years ago, the thought of just walking into the barn would cause me to vomit.  Yep, I was that scared.   Fast forward three years through starting with Parelli, finding my dream horse and taking-the-time-it-takes.  I am now surprised to find I am riding bridleless, taking the first few tentative tries at Liberty spins and getting Tido measured up for his new cradle bridle as we venture into Finesse !  We are loading up and travelling out, considering clinics and seminars I never dreamed of being able to participate in, meeting the most amazing and wonderful people (and their horsey partners).  But the biggest and most prized accomplishment - we are having fun.  Everyday.  Lots and lots of fun. 




  Living in a time that is fast paced and high-tech, it is so easy to lose the fun - in working life and recreational pursuits.  It is easier to postpone fun to another day when you have more time, and less laundry.  But what if everyone decided to have fun everyday?  Even for just 5 minutes?  Just this morning, as I did my morning ritual of watering the plants, the dogs, the horses ... I suddenly dropped the hose and ran to the kid's trampoline for a 10 minute jump-fest!  You can imagine how surpised my 3 kids were, but they recovered quickly, picked up their jaws, and quickly came running to join in.  So we jumped and laughed and laughed.  And its funny how later (when my post-kids bladder started to stage a revolt to the jumping) picking dirty socks off my son's floor didn't seem quite so mundane. 

It is amazing what we can accomplish when we open the door and invite fun into our lives.  In my younger days - my time spent with horses was always fun.  As I venture further down the natural horsemanship path, it becomes easier and easier to recapture some of that silly fun with horses. 
~ its steamy hot out, fill some barn buckets and launch a full out water gun war.  
~ you are sitting on your horse bareback, relaxed and enjoying the day - lay back and put your head on his hindquarter and appreciate at the beautiful blue sky above you.  
~ practice dismounting off the right side, a clumsy landing will have you giggling for sure. 
~ take your horse swimming.  Or canter through the snow bareback!  
~ spectate a clinic, workshop or competition that you have never heard of before. 
~ maybe you have a secret wish to ride with cows - find a way to do it!! 
Whether a big fun goal or just a little bit of silly, how can you add fun into your horse time? For most of us, horses are a hobby.  Any hobby that you devote time, effort and money to - should be fun.  Sometimes all it takes is to step off  the path and just have some plain, old fashioned silly!

The sister to silly fun is the "fun" of acheiving your goals and realizing your dreams! Having goals is necessary to keeping us focused and progressing, but the journey and the acheivement should still be fun!! The other day, I slipped Tido's bridle off for our third official bridle-less ride.  I have gotten over the "holy crap" novelty of seeing my horse's naked face from a mounted perspective but this is still so new to us - I am constantly amazed!  After a short ride that included a considerable amount of trot segments - we headed to the big ball for Tido's favourite playtime.  For the next few minutes we trotted around playing ball - digging it out of corners, swinging his hindquarters around to line up behind it .... and forgot everything else in the exhuberance and enthusiasm of our game.  Like a lightening bolt, that tingly realization hit me - "he doesn't have a bridle on!!!!"   Wow. wow.   And I started to laugh.  How fun was that?!!!

I wish everyone the joy of finding your "fun" in your life and most especially, with your horses!  With it comes a deep satisfaction and a quiet peace that could only be defined as ... happiness.

Road to Walter Update: I have been making positive steps towards my future ride with Walter Zettl. Since arriving home from Parelli Experience camp on May 15th - I have lost 10 lb and am starting to see improvement in my fitness level. I have been focused on acheiving balance in the 4 savvys by improving our Freestyle riding and have tackled some of the early Finesse tasks taught to me by Don Halladay, with regular consistency.   In early August, I will have the opportunity to sit with Walter for one of his teaching days to become accustomed to his teaching style and learn to "hear" his instructions (mental preparedness).

When An Accident Happens .... are You Ready??

Last week my 2 year old filly suffered an injury in the pasture.  The injury was serious enough to require sedation, stitching, bandage changes and a host of other medical procedures.   I approached this situation with as much savvy as I have and maintained that our relationship was first and had to be balanced with the medical procedures she required.  However, during those first days post-injury, I quickly became frustrated at our lack of prior and proper preparation in the area of emergency preparedness.  While in many regards, Jess was a trouper and handled much of it calmly and confidently, but several times the pain caused a real change in her horsenality and I was left feeling overwhelmed.
So live and learn, this situation caused me to think about all the tasks that are important for responsible horse owners to do with EVERY horse in their care (the pasture potatoes have emergencies too!).   The more prepared you are, the more successful you will be when illness or injury adds that extra element to a situation ... pain. 

Physical Preparedness
Think about all the horses in your care and then honestly consider the following questions ....
Can your horse stand still and calm during needling? What about repeated needling?  Often during illness or injury, horses require more than one needling session! 
Can you hose down your horses legs, chest and belly with cold water? Often necessary for reducing swelling and keeping wounds clean.
Can you calmly and confidently load your horse in the trailer in the dark, wind, rain, snow or other common weather conditions for your area? If you had to evacuate or transport an injured or sick horse to a remote equine clinic - your horses need to be able to load in any weather or time of day, not just when the sun is shining!
Can you put your horse in a stall and have them be relaxed and calm for a length of time? Confinement is often necessary during injury.  Do you have a stall or small area to confine an injured/ill horse? Is there a "buddy" to stay with the patient to help them stay calm and quiet?
Can you spray aerosols on all parts of your horse's body?  Some injuries require antiseptic sprays to keep them clean and help them heal.
Can you operate the clippers over all of your horse's body including legs, head, neck, ears and muzzle? Some surgical procedures require the effected areas to be shaved.
Can you pick up all four of your horse's feet and confidently handle all four legs?
Are you physically fit enough to handle an injured or sick horse? These situations can sometimes require lengths of time without sleep and assisting veterinarians with medical procedures can be physically taxing.

Emotional Preparedness
Be very honest with yourself and think about how you handle emergency situations.  It's normal to find these challenging, but understanding yourself and taking steps to cover your shortcomings will help both you and your horses!
Can you act calmly, think logically and make well informed decisions in an emergency situation?
Can you call in some support to help you through especially trying times?
Can you keep safety as a priority in order to help your horse without putting yourself in danger?

Mental Preparedness
There is no doubt we love our horses. Anyone who has owned horses knows that sometime you will have to deal with the natural situations that arise during a horse's life. While not pleasant, these trying times are a reality and deserve some advanced consideration. Sometimes planning for the unexpected means thinking of potential emergency situations and thinking through how you would handle them.  Kind of like preparing your will and buying insurance for ourselves!
Have you analyzed your finances and have a realistic price you are willing, and able to pay, should illness or injury arise?
Are you able to make the decision to humanely end your horse's life if the situation warrants?
If you were to lose your horse suddenly, have you thought about how you would dispose of his/her body?
If you live in an area where natural forces can require evacuation - do you have a plan in place?

My goal for young Jess was to have her come through this injury without any lasting negative responses that will affect her future.  So even though an injury isn't the best time, I was focused on taking the time it takes and putting our relationship first throughout the whole ordeal.  Today at her follow up 5-day veterinary appointment, Jess let me know that she appreciated my efforts by standing perfectly still for her fourth round of needles.  You couldn't erase the smile from my face!  Jess is on the road to a full recover and hopefully only a minor scar as a reminder. 

 

P.I.T.'s and Rattle Snakes

What a week!! Lots of horse activity going on and lots of positives.  First I wanted to comment on the Humanality/Match report.  Mine arrived on a rare day when I was down and out with the flu and ironically, it was one of the best afternoons I have ever spent!! Having a sick day (rare, I can assure you), gave me some undemanding time with myself to really read and absorb the reports.  I was floored ... no... astonished to find out I am a RBI!  But not just any old RBI - a RBI Axis Point!  What this means is that although RBI is my main quadrant, it is very, very mild and my dot is very close to the centre.  The result is that I can easily shift into LBI and RBE and occasionally LBE (possible but only occasionally).  So, speaking in positive terms, I have the potential to be very adaptable to the horse I am playing with.   The reports are very, very interesting and very reflective of what I have been facing with myself and my horse.  Since reading them, I feel I have a real understanding of the positives and the challenges that Tido and I face as a partnership.  What also hit home, again, was John Baar's discussion regarding labelling.  He advised that we not think of LB and RB as "good" and "bad" and certainly now that I find myself an RBI, this is never more true!!
    
     As things finally started drying up here in south western Ontario in the last week, I got a chance to start playing with my filly. I currently have her identified as a P.I.T. (partner-in-training) because she flip-flops so easily between acting like a partner and behaving very instinctively. Since passing her second birthday on April 9th, I am starting to see more consistent partner-like behaviour as she gains in size and maturity.  But she is still very young, and those prey behaviours surface regularly.

     Throughout the winter I took advantage of every opportunity to play with any of the games that I could - in the confines of the barn.  But as the good weather has moved in, I have begun advancing those games outside!  In one of our first official plays of the year, I was busy placing barrels, flipping cavaletti, setting cones and generally getting things arranged in the outdoor arena.  I was casually dragging the 22' behind me and allowing Jess to trail around after me at Liberty (she's great at that - I call her my pocket horse).  Using my periferal vision to keep a close eye on her whereabouts, her sudden movement caught my eye.  The leather popper on the end of the 22' suddenly came up out of the grass and caught her attention.  After following it with concern for a few moments, she made a small hop into the air with both front feet and came down on the ends - finishing her display with a short tap dance.  Then in a brisk walk with a look of concern on her face she came within 3 feet of me and turned crosswise so her zone 3 was between me and the end of the 22.  She looked back at me over her shoulder with a confident expression that said, "it's okay, I've got this under control."  How can you not laugh??!!   While initially I thought this behaviour was quite instinctual, with some "hhmm .. how interesting" pondering, I have concluded that in many regards, she was actually behaving very much like a partner.   I know in her mind, the leather popper was a rattle snake (which is quite instinctual).  But instead of taking flight, she took as much calm confidence as a two year old can muster, and "killed' the snake to protect her herd of two.  While in the future I will need to watch carefully that she doesn't become dominantly protective of our herd, it was deeply reaffirming that our playtime has some very real meaning for her.   And if we ever ride through the wilderness, I'll be safe from rattle snakes! 


     I leave you with two recent photos of Jess.  The first in her new designer, gold mesh with lynx trim, fly mask. If you can't have fun dressing up your little girl - who can you have fun with??  The second shot was taken at sundown last night.  While I rarely consider her "angelic" - doesn't this photo give her a certain glow??


New designer flywear!




I always knew she was an angel!





5 day Parelli Experience

I arrived home just a mere four days ago from the 5-Day Parelli Experience course held at the 17 Ranch in Thamesford last week.  Honestly, it has taken me just this long to soak and process the experience ... and what an experience it was!  Where do I even begin to blog about it??  I am going to attempt to answer the much dreaded, nerve wracking question asked in Parelli-land - what did you learn?

1. I learned that I really, really love my horse.  This experience reconfirmed that he and I are indeed a perfect match.  When he is unconfident (like when he got off the trailer and was face to face with a very big, and very scary rock!!) I am there to help him through and when I am unconfident - he is my support.   The right horse is better than winning the lottery in my books.

2. I need to be more confident in myself.  I have alot of savvy and am solidly in Level 3 and moving into Level 4 (not Level 1 like I sometimes tell myself).  Instead of being so focused on the proper sequence of the program and frozen with worry that I am not ready - I need to trust that if I think I am ready to progress into something new, I probably am.  Trying to summarize this concept, I need to remember that I don't need permission from an instructor in order to progress - my horse will tell me when the timing is right.   Never was this more evident when I nervously attempted my first ever official Liberty session. I laughed outloud at Tido - he did everything I asked with an expression of "well its about time!".

3. I am responsible for my journey.  Period.  If I have a question - no one is going to knock on the door to answer it.  If I want to acheive something - it is my responsibility to get out there and put together a plan to do so.  And people are there to help.  I was a little bit intimidated to ask John Baar a question - but am I ever glad I did!!  He is a very approachable instructor with a relaxed yet knowledgable teaching style.  And it is comforting to know that Linda has faced some of the issues I face with Tido. 

4. Grab a hold of opportunities and just DO IT! My favourite saying (which could very well be a Parelli-ism) echoes this: Whether you think you can or you can't, you're right! So I learned .... I can, I did and I will.



So I am home, older, wiser and changed.  I find it amazing what 5 days can do to someone.  I came home with a clear path to where I want to go and what I want to do with my horses.  But I do want to thank a few people before signing off on this blog episode:

John Baar - thank you for coming all the way from Kentucky.  Thank you for being approachable and knowledgable and for telling all sorts of wonderful stories about Pat, Linda and your time spent at the Parelli Centres. 

Don Halladay - I truly think you are one of the kindest people I have ever met.  Thank you for keeping safety as the cornerstone of all your teaching.  One day I will be at a level where you will ask me to ride your cutting horse - and I'll be ready and answer YES!

Randee Halladay - it was a pleasure to meet you and I love your "tell-it-like-it-is" style.  I look forward to seeing you in Mt. Forest in July.

Maureen Owens - witness of my first official Liberty session!! Thank you for your one on one time and for supporting my journey.  I look forward to working with you to put together some teaching sessions for children in our area.

Todd Owens - I don't even know what to say.  Thank you for putting together such a wonderful event, supporting my goals and modelling how to be positive, progressive and natural.  I look forward to learning from you again in the near future. 






So I finish this blog post and am looking through the door to the rest of 2011.  People to meet, tasks to accomplish and ever closer to the highlight - my ride with Walter Zettl.   Keeping it natural!!

The Road to Walter

I originally dubbed 2011 as my own “Year of a Million Dreams” (thanks to Disney for coining the title back in 2008). Since my Parelli life began, I have a lot of horse-related dreams. A LOT!! So many so, that I get overwhelmed and burdened by the shear volume of things I want to accomplish with my horses. So in an effort to ease the dream burden, I have renamed 2011 as my “Year of 7 Dreams”.  I have broken my dreams into two groups: short term and long term (I know this is pretty high-tech stuff but stay with me ..). Here they are:

Short-Term Dreams (able to be accomplished by Dec 31, 2011)
    1. Learn and execute a ½ barrel jump online.
    2. Ride a flying lead change.
    3. Go on a half day trail ride – relaxed and confident.
    4. Formally audition for the first time.

Long Term Dreams (accomplish sometime between today and someday)
    1. Ride bridleless.
    2. Load Tido while sitting on roof of trailer.
    3. Ride with Walter Zettl.

Simple enough, right?  As 2011 has moved along, logically, I was putting more focus on the short term goals (after all: the deadline for meeting those is much closer!!) and spending very little time on my long term goals. UNTIL ……. I realized that my opportunity to ride with Walter is much closer than expected!! I knew that Todd and Maureen Owens had Walter coming into Ontario several times in 2011. On a whim, I decided to ask for more information about what level Walter expect his students to be at. “Solidly in Level 3” was the answer. My stomach did a flip as I realized – I am in Level 3!  So my nerves kicked into overdrive as I put together my Road(map) to Walter:

Physically Fit
This is my weakest of the 3 “fits”. So I head to a Weight Watchers meeting on Thursday and have immediately added an ambitious (but do-able) physical fitness plan to my schedule (thanks to Michele at www.naturalhorselover.blogspot.com for inspiring me). 

Mentally Fit
This is where I think confidence resides. I am planning to spectate Walter giving a lesson this weekend – to begin preparation for my future ride. I have asked Todd and Maureen to give me an assessment at the Parelli Experience Camp next week to see where my horse and I are in Level 3 and to help me put together a plan to prepare for my ride with Walter. I need to become “solid” in Level 3 and confident in my horse and myself.

Emotionally Fit
This "fitness" is going to be tough. I have had a dream to ride with Walter for a very long time – even before Parelli came into my life. Taking dressage lessons in my early twenties, his name coupled with the title “Dressage Master” was prominent in dressage circles. My dream to ride with him is on par with dining with the Queen and meeting Tom Cruise. A dream, but not likely to happen. So as the reality that my Walter dream is now an actual possibility, I quickly realized that I need to remove the stars from my eyes and learn to get my sweaty palms under control. I need to not be overwhelmed by his Master-ness in order to make use of every minute of his teaching! The answer is prior and proper preparation – … gulp!!

So my Road to Walter begins with the estimated accomplishment date moved from “someday” to October 2011 – May 2012!! I know that as I work on my 3 Fitnesses the lingering doubts of “Can I really do this?” will disappear and my dream will be reality. Watch for my Road to Walter updates ….

A Start to a Better World for Horses

    It was with interest today that I read Parelli's E-news outlining their plans for stepping up on a charitable level to make the world a better place for horses through the Parelli Horsemanship Fund (read the entire white paper found at: www.parellihorsemanshipfund.org).   As a Parelli student and avid horse enthusiast, I read with interest.  The fund is to be aimed in 4 main streams: 
          1.  Youth Programs
          2.  Educational Scholarships
          3.  Horse Rescue Centres
          4.  Therapeutic Riding & ParaEquestrian Riding
There is no doubt, and I am sure that everyone will agree, that these are very worthy choices to focus the funds and time necessary to invoke change.  However, immediately I have several important questions that arise:
    ~Will the Fund be aimed at the above four areas worldwide or just in the countries that contain Parelli  Centres? 
    ~ How will they administer their fund to Youth programs when so little has been directed specifically to youth in the past? It would be fair to say that only the Youth of Parelli parents have access to the program and currently none of the 5 Parelli Professionals I know of make any effort to have youth involved on any level. Will some of the Educational Scholarship funds be directed to people who seek to become a Parelli Professional specifically to teach children?? 
    
     After reading through the aim of the Fund, the second section gives some steps on how I can help.  It seems simple, in order to be more effective, the number of Parelli students needs to increase.  However, this where I think things get a little off track.  Think about it for a minute, "You spread the word. We Donate. Horses and Humans Win."  Seems simple right?? Until we realize that the majority of Parelliers are already spreading the word.  Alot.  To anyone who shows an interest.  
    And this is where I have trouble with the Parelli model.   People seeking information about Parelli are directed to the website and the current free Level 1 program.  All good.  But to really get a feel for Parelli, the best option is to take a Level 1 Clinic.  The snag - we are being told that Parelli Professionals are only able to teach to Savvy Club members.  The reality is that joining the Savvy Club is too much financial commitment when you are just getting started. 
    To get more people trying Parelli and seeing for themselves what a great program it is for horses and humans, I feel more needs to be done at the Professional and Corporate Level.  There should be a reduced rate for all Level 1 clinics.  I am not saying they should be free but more attractive for first time participants.  This would in turn bring more people into Parelli.  Professionals would be busier than ever with a larger number of active students!  And demos.  There should be Parelli representation at all major horse events and festivals in countries where there are active Parelli Professionals and students.  Here in Ontario, Canada, Parelli is almost an underground movement.  There are no advertisements in our horse publications.  There are no Parelli booths or demonstrations at our large horse events and festivals.   To find Parelli - you have to know someone or be really motivated to find out where to start.   Parelli students are already spreading the word but more needs to come from higher up.  

It is a start and certainly more than most other horse organizations are doing.  And while I consider myself generally optimistic - I sincerely hope that what I have read doesn't benefit an elite few and we feel and see the benefits close to our own Parelli homes. 

Keeping it Natural!

More Lightbulbs Than a Hardware Store

This week was a turning point.  Two turning points actually.  And the really amazing part - both of my light bulb moments came from knowledge I already knew - sparked by information that has been in front of my nose for ... well .... ashamed to actually admit ... years!! 

Breakthrough #1
     I watched the January 2011 Savvy Club DVD - Performance Summit Highlights.  And then I watched it again.  And again.   Because the first time I watched it - a light bulb went on.  And then I watched it two more times just to be sure it really was a lightbulb and not some other flash of light pretending to be a lightbulb. 
     So what was this brilliant, flashing, lightbulb moment?  Watching Pat and his students riding during their demo I ... wait for it ...I got IT.  I mean I really GOT IT.  I understood for the first time the importance of all this "stuff" we have been doing on the ground and how it prepares us for riding.  I really understood the importance of the patterns and their design.  I really, really got the message loud and clear how important the human and horse responsibilities are to riding.  I felt like Pat reached out through my TV screen and smacked me upside the head and said, "pay attention - this stuff is important!"   When he saw the surprise in my face, I am sure he shook his head and thought, "what do you think I have been telling you via video for the last 2 years??"   Okay Pat - I get it.   So with the lightbulb illuminated, my poor horse will finally get the leader he needs in the saddle, instead of one that has been floundering around in the dark.  I guess the only question now is, if this information has been presented to me in countless videos and clinics - why did it take me so long to get it??

Breakthrough #2
     I have come to the conclusion that I am really, really good at collecting and learning new materials.  I am great at making plans - on paper.   But I am truly mediocre at putting those plans into action.  There, my secret is out.  Too often I feel that I have "fake it 'til you make it" tattooed across my forehead.  In a few aspects of my life, I know deep down that I haven't done the time - I haven't paid the piper - I haven't given the concentrated, consistent effort required to achieve a particular goal.  And I am not just talking my horsey life ... I don't admit to too many people that I have wanted to lose weight for just over 10 years now. 
      So just as I started feeling slightly blue as I reflected on goals not yet accomplished, an email arrived from Drew Harvey and his blog Diet Tired .  Suddenly, as before, the lightbulb went on ...


"What is the trick? Five proven steps to bridge the gap between good intentions and action:


Record Keeping
Goal Setting
Scheduling
Overcoming Barriers
Evaluation and Feedback"

And there it is.  I am awesome at Goal Setting.  I give myself a C+ in Record Keeping.  Scheduling of my horse time or my diet & exercise requirements doesn't exist.  Overcoming Barriers is low on the list.  And could my lackadaisical attitude regarding submitting an official Parelli audition mean that I actually avoid Evaluation and Feedback???   As a certain Mrs. Parelli would say ... hmm, how interesting.   So applying the above 5 steps to my Parelli goals and my weight loss/fitness goals, I am suddenly feeling much more positive (and illuminated).  Stay tuned!!  2011 is looking bright!

When "Life" Gets in the Way

I sit chained to my desk today, pondering the benefits of adopting a simpler life.  Simpler by my definition is far less hectic!  My wistful mood was brought about by a clearly defined plan for today that should have found me at the barn enjoying lunch and a play with my Parelli group.  The day had other plans for me however and here I sit at 2pm with no visible clear spot on my desk.  Alas, no playtime for me today.  

Taking a break from the mundane paperwork,  I took a few minutes to download some pictures from my camera.  Low and behold, with tears springing to eyes - I came across several photos entitled "simpler life".   Some background: my super-horse Tido (coming in future blog: what is the definition of a super-horse?), is boarded at a local barn approx 12 minutes from my house.  He is there because the facilities are wonderful and contribute to our progression.   At home I have our 11hh wonder and my 18 month old filly.  My facilities at home are minimal at best during the winter.  My 100 year old barn (aka shed) is just enough shelter from howling winds, rain, sleet, snow .... but only enough for 2, barely.   So Tido remains living apart from me, temporarily - until money permits the upgrade of my home based facilities.  However, that logic does little to keep me from desparately missing him on a daily basis. 

This takes us to Thanksgiving weekend (Canadian for our international friends), mid October 2010.  The weather: gorgeous!! Sunny, warm, perfect.  This fact does little to keep me from desparately missing Tido (see the trend?).  Suddenly, the light bulb goes on!!  The weather is beautiful.  I have room to keep one more for a few days time.   We are all brushed up on our trailer loading. Why not bring him home  for the weekend?  And that is just what we did ....

Here is my sweet boy - just arrived "home" for a 3 day vacation from his pals at the barn. 

Tido meeting Baby Jesse.  She has no fear of strangers.

When will she outgrow the "don't eat me, I'm a baby!" routine?

This photo brings tears to my eyes.  It is a picture of peace and happiness. 

I can't even tell you how much I love this horse and what a joy it was to feed him and pick up his poop and look out the window and see him and find him waiting at the fence for me and go for a ride and wake up knowing he was here .....

Isn't it amazing what confidence can do?  Gives you lots more opportunities to explore "why not?" and "can you?'  Just looking at these photos I don't feel quite so blue about missing my play today.   Maybe, just maybe I can carve out a few minutes to play with my baby-girl horse this afternoon ..... and my boy will be just as happy to see me when I get to the barn tomorrow!

How to Train Your Dragon ...er .. Horse!

So yes, Ron Pyne has been and gone.  We went in, survived, and came out the other side - more knowledgeable and certainly more exhausted than we began!!  Success all around but, as my brain is still overwelmed with the sheer volume of "stuff" learned, I will wait to blog about our adventures in Ronland when my cranium is quieter and I catch up on the many nights of lost sleep (due to anxiety - not because we were partying in the barn!)!

This week brought the release of one of my favourite kid movies to video.   Generally, I find movies geared for the younger set mildly entertaining and occasionally hit on one that is downright amazing.  How to Train Your Dragon was one such movie for me.  Of course the animation was great, well written, great characters .... but the concept of the movie is what entriges me.  The story of a young, geekish, viking boy who just doesn't have the heart to fight the local dragons, as his classmates do, goes against his father's and his communities wishes and ... wait for it .... trains one to be his friend (in secret of course!).  Using love, language and leadership (and a whole lot of friendly game) the young boy flies off into the sunset on his new friend!   But the real story unfolds as the boy needs to demonstrate to his fellow vikings that changing behaviour practiced by hundred of generations and befriending the dragons has far more benefits than battling against them.   Hmmm - sound familiar??  Eerily so.  

I am struck how often I discover (and use!) Parelli in the non-horsey parts of my life.  4 Phases work amazingly when raising kids for instance!  And my 10 year struggle to lose my baby weight suddenly became clear with the statement: "if you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always gotten."  Hmm -  after 10 years its safe to say that what I am currently doing isn't working - time to try something different!!  And yes - good, bad or otherwise - you can turn a RBI chihuahua into a LBE and the best little guard dog on the block!!

My First Question is Always ... Why?

     Occasionally the word "skeptic" has been used in conjunction with my name when discussing Parelli.  A fellow Parelli-er jokes that I run a close second to her for the record number of times a clinic participant can ask "why?" on a single weekend.  I find the word "skeptic" to be too negative in nature to describe me, but I am proud to be a highly-ranked why-asker!!  
     Like so many, I started my Parelli journey in a desperate attempt to cure my fear.  Attendance at that Level 1 clinic in May 2008 was a last ditch attempt to acheive some kind of understanding with my horse.  I was worn down with the burden of living in constant fear of something I loved so much and the urge to walk away from horses entirely was nipping at the corners of my mind.   Up to that moment, I had spent almost 17 years listening to anyone who could give me advice in hopes of acheiving my goals (goals which in hindsight were completely scattered and undefined).  My fairy-tale beginning started at the Level 1 clinic, and I walked out fighting tears of relief and taking joy in the deep down confidence that finally, I was on the right path.
     The #1 lesson learned that weekend and the lesson that has guided me every day since: that my gut instinct is my biggest teacher.  If I just stop and listen to myself,  deep down I know for certain when it is right, or not.  My fear developed when I stopped trusting myself and blindly followed advice or teaching of others.   So at the conclusion of that clinic, I vowed to always ask "why?" on behalf of my horse and myself to safe guard our partnership.  I ask "why" to learn the logic behind what is being taught.  I ask "why" to see a vision of how the task will look in the future.  I ask "why" to clarify teachings that seem to conflict with each other.  I ask "why" to advance my learning.  And then, after learning as much as possible with an open mind, I reserve the right to make an informed decision, on behalf of our herd of two, and decline a task if I feel it isn't right for one, or both of us.   It was blindly following what others told me that almost took my true passion from me and asking "why" keeps me honest with myself.   And Parelli is no exception!  There may come a day when I decline a task - temporarily or permanently.  But that is how I define Savvy - the courage to learn with an open mind, open eyes and open heart and to progress confidently forward, all while carefully listening to yourself and your horse.  

So yup - I ask a lot of questions - appropriately timed and respectfully asked of course!   I am not afraid to ask - I owe it to myself and my horse ('cause he can't talk yet!).  And yes, my Parelli Instructor might have nightmares of someone constantly repeating  why? why? why? ... but he has broad shoulders and I am sure he can handle it!

Clinic countdown = 8 days ........

The Important Role of the Playgroup

Tuesday was one of our bi-weekly Parelli Playgroup sessions.   Time to get together, play with horses (or without), visit, chat and eat.   Time to catch up on horsey (or non-horsey) news and to applaud the little victories.  But most important, time to support each other through the challenges of our individual learning pathways and help each other to stay progressive.   I am constantly amazed at the vast differences between the ages and stages of each member of our group but how close and supportive our little Parelli "family" has become.  The accomplishments from this group are too many to mention - but we are amazing!! Thank you group - it wouldn't be nearly as much fun without you!!

Tido had a great play on Tuesday.  Ever so slowly he is gaining confidence playing with me on his right side and I can see and feel a much more balanced horse!  It is such a joy to watch him concentrating on something new and not trying to "hide" by putting his left eye on me.  Such a subtle habit on his part and took over a year to identify it as a "problem" (thank's Ron for helping figure out the puzzle!).  In hindsight the signs were clear but .... what can I say, Tido's mischevious nature also lends to a great ability to cover up his weak areas!!  The sweet finale to the day was Tido hanging his head over the gate of the pasture and watching me leave.  I am deeply honored when he would rather spend time with me than grazing or being in the herd.  It is indeed a privlege to be his partner and moments like that just confirm that we are on the right path! 

So my nerves are starting to tingle a bit as I look at the calendar and realize that we are just 14 days until the continuing Level 3 clinic with Ron (Pyne).  Always a pleasure to spend two days with Ron but stressful just the same.  Have I spent enough time practicing perfectly what was covered in the spring clinic??  What challenges will he give us this round??  And all while learning in front of a small audience - yeesh - I still maintain that all Ron's clinics should come with a sedative for the night before!!   Ron - we are ready for the big green ball soccer challenge - you won't beat us this time!!  14 days to go ....

Joy, Tempered with Regrets .. the Mental Journey Continues.

The past few months have been a period of mental growth for me.  My confidence has risen to such snowy peaks, I often surprise myself.  I guard it like a newborn baby, being every vigilant about our safety to protect it and keep it from suffering a setback.  The freedom that confidence gives me is intoxicating.  Freedom to ride bareback more often than saddled, the freedom to seek the most imaginative ways to do seemingly mundane tasks.  The freedom to lay on the grass in the pasture at 38 years of age and look at the sky - just because I can.   I often joke that I am right back where I was at 12 years of age.  Back to when horses were fun and nothing was impossible.  Back to when just "hanging out" with my horse was one of life's true joys.   But my 38 year old brain starts to regret - all those years from age 14 forward when I paid money for someone to take that joy away.  I paid someone to tell me that I spoiled my horse by hugging him too much and I would never reach my goals unless I changed what I was doing.  I paid someone to tell me that if you weren't riding, you weren't doing any at all.   Today's joys are tainted by almost a quarter century of paying money for training that was actually taking me further away from where I was meant to be all along.   How do I let go of those regrets and lost years that almost took my moment-of-birth, passionate love of horses from me forever?  I am diligent now in trying to slow it down and enjoy the moments to not rush in an unconscious effort to make up for lost time.   I take comfort in knowing that my Parelli journey started when it was right for me, not a day too soon or a day too late. 

Back to Blogging ...

I can't believe how long it has been since I last posted on my blog!! I have truly missed being able to journal my experiences and am happy to be back to the keyboard! So much has happened in the last year, I don't even know where to begin. I think I will need to blog several posts to catch up!


This first post is about a trip Tido and I made, in June, to the outdoor playground of one of our Parelli Playgroup members. It was our first trip out together, in the 13 months we've been together, and it was so refreshing to get "off the farm" - so to speak.  We had a great time, challenging ourselves with all the obstacles at Teresa's playground and Tido having his very first swim! The best way to show you is in pictures!  We can't wait to visit again and, if the weather cooperates, both of us can swim together!

Our first look into the deep, scary ditch!  Tido is very uncertain ...

Taking the time it takes - one tiny step at a time.

"It's okay buddy - take your time."

SUCCESS!!!  60 minutes from start to finish! 

He went right through every time after!

Following the leader.

Picture entitled "The Medal Winners!"

Tido's first pond play - having fun with his feet.

"Oooh this water tastes good!"

"Look mom - I am a fish!!"

WOW - What a Weekend!! Clinic Day 1

The morning after my fourth clinic with 3-star Parelli professional Ron Pyne and, as always, he did not disappoint! My mind is full to the bursting point with new information and I am exhausted mentally and physically. Where to begin, where to begin? Because we covered so much in two days, I am going to journal it in two pieces and try to recall and capture the key topics ....

Level 2 - Refinement Clinic - Day 1
One of Ron's main keys throughout the weekend was one of "expecting more". As advanced level 2 students he stressed how important it is to strive for the best responses from our horses and to be very particular when playing - something that is necessary to become a successful Level 3 student. We began the two day clinic with snuggling our 7 horses together and "protecting our herds of two"! Difficult when you have 7 horses who don't know each other and would love a chance to visit with each other! Throw a mini in the middle and things really get interesting! All the horses soon settled and we had a chance to chat with each other and discuss what we hoped to take away from the clinic.
The Saturday morning online session began with some porcupine game - moving the hindquarters and the forequarters in a figure of 8 pattern - all while striving to be as light as possible. "Addicted to Lightness" is my favourite part of all the 7 games and, as I soon realized, has some room for improvment!! Lucky for me Tido is quite responsive but this segment of the clinic served as a reminder that I need to keep playing with it. We also played with turning our horses loose (removing the halter), disengaging the hindquarters and having them turn and look at us before they moved off into a pasture (or stall). Important for safety and building the relationship. While this is something I try and do regularily, this session made me realize how important it is to do EVERY time!
Next we began to play with the driving game from zone 3/4 to prepare for the afternoon's adventure of riding with the carrot sticks. For me, remembering to bring my life up and let Tido make the first step forward was key.
The afternoon's riding was truly an adventure!! All 6 riding partipants looked like fish out of water