Winter Blahs

Last week I was reminded of several things that I had temporarily forgotten:

1. I hate winter - specifically January.  It is the month after Christmas and appears exceptionally dark and dreary without the glitter and sparkle of the holiday season.  It is smack in the middle of winter - too close to the beginning to say that spring is coming.  It is cold - very cold.  Yesterday's low of -28 degrees Celsius is cold no matter how hard you imagine yourself on a tropical beach somewhere.   Even more than I hate winter - I hate looking at photos of people playing with their horses at the Parelli campus in Florida.  Or worse, looking at photos of people playing with their horses at the Parelli campus in Florida and then going to play with your horse in the cold arctic -28 wind and snow of Canada.  Darn. I hate winter.

2. I am the first one to tell you that my horse is brilliant.  Tido's super ultra high play drive and LBE horsenality makes me proudly boast how brilliant he is.  But he can't read.  Nor can he watch DVD's.  And he doesn't have a wireless connection between his brain and mine.  So, when the weather outside is frightful, and I curl up to watch, read and generally absorb my vast supply of Parelli materials from a nice warm spot in the house - get this - HE ISN'T LEARNING ANYTHING!!!!   Darn.   I hate winter.

3. No matter how creative and progressive I am - 5 minutes isn't enough playtime for 21 month old girls with - get this - super ultra high play drives and LBE horsenality (see a trend here?).  Heading to the house with frozen fingers, toes and snow frosted eye lashes, so proud of playing with Jess for a full 5 minutes - I hear .. "thunk".  That, my friends, is the sound of the heated float hitting the barn wall as it is removed from the outside water trough.  Yep, she can't talk but that sound very clearly says, "how dare you tease me with five minutes of playtime!! What am I supposed to do for the other 23 hours and 55 minutes left in this day??"  Darn.  I hate winter.

I can't change winter.  Positives?  Let's see, there must be some:

1. My Parelli saddle arrives in less than 28 days!!  Now that might inspire some winter riding!!

2. Laughing keeps you warm.  Simulations with the Parelli playgroup are best done in the winter - the moving around and inevitable laughter (and of course the fresh baked cookies that find their way to the gathering) make you temporarily forget how cold it is.  For a few minutes anyhow ...

3. Time - to watch, listen and read all those materials that you don't have time for during the "good" weather.  And while I try to figure out how to hook up the wireless brain connection between Tido and I, he does benefit, eventually, from my learning.  I have a better plan which makes me more positive and progressive.

4.  If I stand by the kitchen window - there is enough room to "throw" my 45' line down between the fridge and the island,  and coil it up again ... over and over ... and over.  Ron said to get good with it before I use it on my horse.  I don't recall a requirement that I had to get good with it OUTSIDE!  

5.  Marked on the calendar is "May 11 - 15 - Parelli Experience with Don Halladay & John Barr".  Only a mere 105 days (or 15 weeks) away.  Before I know it - it will be here!  While it may not be Florida in January - I can settle for London in May.

So I finish this with the resignation, I may not like it, but January doesn't last forever.  And before we know it, the horses will be shedding and the mosquitoes will be biting and the humidity will make us cranky and we'll be thinking of January ... fondly.

My First Question is Always ... Why?

     Occasionally the word "skeptic" has been used in conjunction with my name when discussing Parelli.  A fellow Parelli-er jokes that I run a close second to her for the record number of times a clinic participant can ask "why?" on a single weekend.  I find the word "skeptic" to be too negative in nature to describe me, but I am proud to be a highly-ranked why-asker!!  
     Like so many, I started my Parelli journey in a desperate attempt to cure my fear.  Attendance at that Level 1 clinic in May 2008 was a last ditch attempt to acheive some kind of understanding with my horse.  I was worn down with the burden of living in constant fear of something I loved so much and the urge to walk away from horses entirely was nipping at the corners of my mind.   Up to that moment, I had spent almost 17 years listening to anyone who could give me advice in hopes of acheiving my goals (goals which in hindsight were completely scattered and undefined).  My fairy-tale beginning started at the Level 1 clinic, and I walked out fighting tears of relief and taking joy in the deep down confidence that finally, I was on the right path.
     The #1 lesson learned that weekend and the lesson that has guided me every day since: that my gut instinct is my biggest teacher.  If I just stop and listen to myself,  deep down I know for certain when it is right, or not.  My fear developed when I stopped trusting myself and blindly followed advice or teaching of others.   So at the conclusion of that clinic, I vowed to always ask "why?" on behalf of my horse and myself to safe guard our partnership.  I ask "why" to learn the logic behind what is being taught.  I ask "why" to see a vision of how the task will look in the future.  I ask "why" to clarify teachings that seem to conflict with each other.  I ask "why" to advance my learning.  And then, after learning as much as possible with an open mind, I reserve the right to make an informed decision, on behalf of our herd of two, and decline a task if I feel it isn't right for one, or both of us.   It was blindly following what others told me that almost took my true passion from me and asking "why" keeps me honest with myself.   And Parelli is no exception!  There may come a day when I decline a task - temporarily or permanently.  But that is how I define Savvy - the courage to learn with an open mind, open eyes and open heart and to progress confidently forward, all while carefully listening to yourself and your horse.  

So yup - I ask a lot of questions - appropriately timed and respectfully asked of course!   I am not afraid to ask - I owe it to myself and my horse ('cause he can't talk yet!).  And yes, my Parelli Instructor might have nightmares of someone constantly repeating  why? why? why? ... but he has broad shoulders and I am sure he can handle it!

Clinic countdown = 8 days ........